The Morning After

Normally I don't like to blog about family affairs and events but this one was TOO GOOD to pass up. Thanksgiving...biggest day of food possibly of the year...well next to the BYU Utah game day...which happens to fall into the same weekend USUALLY so basically biggest weekend of eating ever. Lots of people will head out for a pre-Thanksgiving day run...some people will head out for a post meal walk...(which my family did aaand nearly put me into labor but whatever.) Then you get this group of people....the group of people that head to WATER AEROBICS the morning after. My family also fell into that category this year. I thought it was gonna be a "yeah we're totally gonna do it everybody up by 8 so we can get there!" but really we sleep in and forget...nope. We were all up by 8 getting ready to swim our guts out with all the ladies in deep water aerobics at the Bountiful rec-center. So we get there and there is ONE RULE that you must be aware of. NO unnecessary splashing on account of there are old ladies in there who DO NOT get their hair wet, they pay big money to get their hair sprayed just correctly into place. My aunt Cheryl (who invited us to this great morning out) explained this rule to us at dinner Thursday so we were all prepped and ready for the class...so I thought. So anyway we're all sliding into the pool ever so delicately, avoiding the splashing, when to my great pride/embarrassment MY husband CANNON BALLS into the pool...right in the middle of all the old ladies. Of course he would do that. Where was he during our previous nights conversation of DO NOT SPLASH?? Apparently not listening. The ladies threw up their hands in protection and indignation, I hid my self in shame, secretly beaming inside for the AWESOME cannon ball my husband had just pulled off....and he got the wrath when he resurfaced. The ladies were piiiissed to say the least, and of course the rest of us were all humiliated but also stuffing out our laughter in the water. Of course by the end of the session he had made up for his HUGE mistake and the ladies loved him by the end...true to form Spence. So yeah my family does water aerobics now...something my Dad nearly bought a family pass to the rec-center for. I'm not ashamed. My best advice to anyone thinking about heading up to the ol' aerobics class...take a trip over to the lazy river after your grueling class...float around that bad boy, I could do it for hours.

Just a Day in the Life

The life of a rock-star receptionist that's what. I just want to give you a run down of my morning. Wake up have breakfast with my husband, get ready and heck yes I was ready early so I leave early for work thinking excellent I can get to work early and crack out last weeks episode of The Biggest Loser (total tear jerker by the way), anyway I was gonna get there so early I'd get all this done and get the office up and ready to go before opening time! WISHFUL THINKING! I get within 2 miles of my office (past any exit that could have saved time) and see a sign that says "Heavy Congestion ahead prepare to STOP". Now occasionally you'll see these signs and sometimes they are an over reaction and there is minor slowing...but this time it was dead on. One mile to go from my off ramp and I am at a dead stop its 8:00am. by the time I reach my office ladies and gentlemen it is 9:00am. I sat in my car a MILE away from my office for an hour. Awesome. Idling all the while and a half hour in.....my gas light turns on. It was by the sheer grace of Heaven above that I didn't run out of gas sitting on that off ramp where not even a smart car could have snuck past me...that would have been hilarious. So I finally make it to work and get things running sufficiently when I receive a phone call. I will not name names as that would be inappropriate. But I receive a phone call from X who is getting a divorce with Y who I work with. Now X is a little crazy maybe. X proceeds to tell me that under no circumstance do they want to talk to Y! (that is repeated more then enough times) but that X needs to know what Y is doing...I think to myself what Y is doing like at work....at Y's desk...in life..what the crap do you mean crazy X? No X wanted to know legal wise what Y was doing and I am like ok not my place X! So this conversation goes on and it was all just a big edition of hilarity to my morning. I talked to my dear co-worker who use to sit at the desk about the beauties of my job and how I love it...she never got to deal with such things though. Lucky for me this job has gotten even more eventful over the years...I can only imagine what will be in store for my replacement. Can't wait to meet her and train her up because being the receptionist entails A LOT. Obviously.

I Have a Wish Bone to Pick

So its November 3rd....and there is STILL no Christmas music playing. Not on Kosy...not on FM100 and I am VERY irritated about it. I am one of those people that like to start listening to Christmas music months in advance judge me all you want. I also have something to say on the matter of "Turning on Christmas music this early just SKIPS right over Thanksgiving!! whaaaaaa!!!" Lets talk about it for a second. If people cared enough about Thanksgiving...be it the media, celebrities, or the general public...someone would have WRITTEN SONGS ABOUT THAKNSGIVING TO PLAY! Fact. Yeah I love Thanksgiving. I am VERY thankful! For lots of things! Thankful for life...thankful for turkey and the holiday that we dedicate to eating it, thankful for the family togetherness!! But SUE ME if I want to listen to Christmas music November 1! Maybe Christmas music gets me in the mood for the holidaySSSS. That is plural because of course I include Thanksgiving into the Holiday mix! So lets get together....and listen to Christmas music TODAY!

Where Did I Put Those Stupid Marbles!!!

I am slowly losing my mind...I am only concerned because its happening before I thought it would. I thought sure maybe 5 or 8 kids down the road...but the first one isn't even here yet! Today was the last straw, the straw that broke the camels back...the straw with the hole in it you know whatever. I have had many other instances where I have thought...I'm only 20 and its already come to this? I will lose my train of thought mid thought...I will be on my way somewhere, and forget where or why I was going somewhere, and have to start all over again, retrace my steps and try to pick up my thoughts I'd dropped along the way. As I was saying...this morning. I was talking to my family who is on their way home from Iowa. I don't like to drive to work in silence I either need the radio loud enough that I feel like I have company or I need to be on the phone until I park at my office. I don't like the silence. So I called Mother's phone as I was preparing to leave the house, locking the back door...blocking the dogs escape route out of the back yard that they had dug over night you know, normal morning tasks. I get in my car still talking to everyone in their car and I get down to the veeery bottom of our hill preparing to get on the freeway. I ask a pertinent question and hear nothing..."HELLOOOO!!! Why are you not answering!!!" (I hate getting cut off...) So I go to hang up my cell phone and call them back but waaaait a second....I'M ON THE HOUSE PHONE! My first thought...man this thing has range it didn't die the second I pulled out of the drive way...second thought was..how did I not realizet his bulky thing was certainly not my little cell phone...third thought...I've completely lost my mind. So I went ahead and turned around to return the house phone and called my family to let them know that I need to be committed. Anyone else had this happen?

Meet the Ex-Halloweiner!

Sooo remember last year when I was like oh whaaaa I hate Halloween don't judge me! I take it back. Marriage has morphed me in many ways...and one of them is I am learning to like Halloween. The thought of dressing up as an oven this year while my husband dresses up as a baker...genius. I literally can't wait to wear that hilarious costume everywhere. Please tell me you get it...oven (pregnant) and baker (self explanatory...) awesome. I also was thinking on my way to work about dressing my son up in his first ever Halloween costume and I got a little over excited thinking about the endless possibilities when it comes to a one year old and Halloween. One thing however hasn't quite changed from last year...I still hate the song "Pumpkin Head Harvey". They played it this morning on the radio and FRANKLY that song freaks me out. Sorry that a pumpkin named Harvey that hides in the bushes and waits to eat little trick or treaters is completely disturbing to me. The radio station said that that song has been the most requested they've had and that is almost as disturbing to me as the song itself. Are you serious people? You really like this song? I feel like it would be emotionally disturbing to any child that was paying attention to the words. Does anybody else feel totally creeped out by that song? Am I totally out to lunch on this? (Also what does the saying "out to lunch" really imply...) I am so inquisitive today.

Yet Another Proud Moment

This morning at the gym I made another "white trash" declaration....even better then admitting that I love Walmart. I was walking on the treadmill this morning and I had in my iPod but you know as well as I do that just tuning out the noises of the gym is never enough....you have to have something to occupy your vision or you will be reminded that you are in a place nobody wants to be in at 5AM. So I was scanning the TVs looking for something to occupy my eye sight for a while when I see GOLD on one of them. MONSTER TRUCK RACING! I turn around to Spencer who is behind me on a bike and say "HONEY! I've sat in that Monster Truck before! Its name is Grave Digger! I LOVE Monster Truck races!" He goes honey you're kinda white trash right now....laughs and continues peddling away. I realize too late it already came out of my mouth and I notice a few people looking at me like....Really? Well SUE me everybody I love a good monster truck rally! Those things are HUGE and its awesome when they jump over those cars and crush those motor homes! I love when they tip over and their big wheels spin out of control! Also I love that I have sat in one before ok! I use to go to them all the time with my friend Lexi Young when I was like 8, cause her dad is a part owner of the track you know Roger Young of Young Chevrolet, so we got to sit up in the box seats where your ears didn't get blown out by the song of the Monster Truck engine. Those times hold some good memories for me and I was taken back this morning as I watched Grave Digger tear it up. I am not ashamed.

Is This Where I'm Headed?

Down in the corner if this picture you will see the topic of today's post.
I have recently registered for my baby showers and the place I chose to register at after long hours of consideration and internet browsing was indeed....Wally World. Why did I do this do you ask? Well when it comes down to it Walmart is cheaper! All the same stuff I was registering for at Babies R Us and Target were all more then the EXACT same items at Walmart! Explain this to me please I say! Spence did....Walmart is like a big giant Costco wholesaler. Whatever that means. What it means to me is less $$$, more stuff! I decided I don't care if this is where I am headed...You know that its usually the BEST idea to go to Walmart late at night because thats when you get a glimpse of these crazies and it makes you laugh for a good couple days when you think about it. So basically spend less money, get more stuff, and leave the store with some laughs. Win Win right? Right. I will leave you with one last parting photo...
You're welcome.

The Biggest Loser=The Most Awesome Ever

I CAN'T GET ENOOOOOUGH!!! Not kidding people. This show changes lives. Period. If I was 400 lbs you had best belieeeve that this show would be changing my life even more then it already does. Its the best to know that Tuesday has finally arrived and I get to watch the latest episode and see the latest awesome tips and the latest tears of pain in the gym! Love it. This season is pretty massive as a combine. A few of these contestantas weight as much a baby killer whale how do you like that. Plus! aside from size a lot of these people have got completely nutso life stories. Is the weight they have gained a mental and emotional issue seated deeply beneath the layers? Probably! Leave it to Jillian the trainer/therapist to work these issues out alright. Now lets talk about my favorite person as of week two. Coach!! Coach something... I may have forgotten his name but we will just refer to him as Coach. He is the oldest and most awesome. He is the modivator, and the organizer. Who does errybody in the house hate? Julio. Cause Julio doesn't bust tail like the rest of them. He just goes to the bathroom all the time and sits down on the treadmill. Downer. Who has the most depressing/inspiring story? Its probably gotta be Abby. This lady's husband and kids died in a car crash two years previous. Who has the greatest advantage? Easy...Danny he's totally been on the ranch before. Who is the youngest and most hip? Amanda. Ok now that I have caught you up on what is important make your Tuesdays a priority!!! This is serious business people I need you to keep up with me, it won't be hard becasue I am always a week behind as I have to catch up every Tuesday from the previous week. I am just saying this season is not acceptable to miss so....lets get real ok?

Congratulations....But What About Tiger?

Last night I got home from work to find a lovely award ceremony playing on the TV, it looked so happy that I sat down to see who and what and why someone had won something. Juan Del Potro was so emotional and sweet as the 20 year old accepted the US Open cup, as they told him about his winnings (so much cash it made my head spin...as we are the same age), and as he said a quick word in Spanish to his friends and family. As I said he was totally cute and emotional and so of COURSE being in the emotional state I am in I started to get teary eyed. Good for him I am thinking and I say "Man that was sweet...but doesn't Tiger Woods usually win this stuff?" The tender moment ended as my husband looked at me shaking his head in laughter...I looked back at the screen for the instant replay of the big win moment...only to see Juan not on a GOLF course but on a TENNIS court...hmmm. That would explain why Tiger was not present. Sue me for not being a sport fanatic ok, I try to identify with the winner get excited for him and this is what happens...I end up looking like a terd with comments like that. Its ok I am use to it, these comments get more and more frequent the more and more pregnant I get. Is it ok that I use pregnancy as an excuse for stupidity? I think so.

I love the 90's

"Whatever happened to predictability? The milk man, the paper boy...even'n TV! Everywhere you look ... everywhere you look...there's a heart there's a heart...a hand to hold onto!" Name that tune you guys I know you know it! If you had children in the 90's...or owned a television set in the 90's you should be well aware of the theme song to....FULL HOUSE! I got my hot little hands (ok swollen fat mits...love pregnancy) on all 8 seasons of Full House! I forgot how much fun this series was. I haven't heard so many awesome insults in YEARS...things like "nerd-bomber" "geek-burger" and classic and perhaps more frequently used "dweeb". Also I forgot how adorable the Olsen twins were (pre-skeletal frame) I couldn't help but wonder if she got her real Daddy confused with Daddy Saget... She was awefully young on the set. Anyway if anyone was wondering how much this little series costs on amazon....$80.00 but I think its probably worth it...as long as you can tune out most of Joey's annoying impressions and stupid jokes. Other then that the show is flawless...comedy plus you ALWAYS get an inspiration moment with music included at the end. So there you go you guys...I know you have been wondering what I've been up to lately with such a large gap in posts but this is it. My days are getting boring maybe sue me.

Felony or Fabulous??

These are the kind of stories I may not be able to come up with whilst at home so enjoy this one. Yesterday I went to grab my keys to get in my car and head home to meet my husband in Bountiful (whose cell phone was dead and was just going to wait for me) only to realize that my keys were sitting in my locked car on the drivers seat...naturally. I looked through the window in despair...laughing but also thinking to myself wow....I have a few options ask my mother to drive 45 minutes to my work and bring my spare to me, call the police, or call a lock smith. I tried option 2 first...and those stupid police wouldn't lend a finger to me because there wasn't a child or animal in the car "I have a live child in my stomache does that count?" "HA, no." ...glad to see my tax dollars are going to something helpful not! So they told me to try option 3 which I vetoed right away because I did not plan on paying a ridiculous sum of money for someone to come get me into my car. It seemed I was out of options so I called my mother and told her to start making her way out here to me. In the meantime one of our sales professionals overheard my distressing and says to me "If we can find a hanger I could try to break into your car." I scoffed thinking yeah right you out there in your suit with a hanger as your weapon this will never work. "Ok Kreg lets give it a shot" I say. So we head out there with a hanger, hammer, and piece of card board box to prevent scratching of the paint. 10 minutes later my car was open and I was on the road. Here is how the miracle happened. (Kreg has apparently done this before! Its ok he's probably a reformed car theif.) He pried open my door just enough to slide the hanger in...and with a little loop on the end of that hanger he hooked my car door handle and popped it right open. I thought it was hilarious and now may all of you know you never need call al ock smith again just carry a hanger around with you wherever you go...that or use the automatic locker that you have on your key chain and stop locking manually like an idiot...this insures your keys are always in your hands on the OUTSIDE of the car. Just an idea.

Off the Road Again...Just Can't Wait to Get Off the Road Again!!!

As the days continue to slowly tick by to D'Day (delivery day indeed) I find myself dreading my drive to work more and more each and every morning. Its different this new feeling of resentment I have developed...I use to love to get in the car and head to my job because I feel so lucky to have one naturally...but as I watch the miles on my car tick upward without ever ceasing, as I watch my gas gauge roll ever downward day after day...my bank account on the decent with the gauge (stupid oil prices not staying at $1.45 where they belonged) Anyway! I think this new resentment is due to the realization that the end is indeed insight. I get antsy I suppose when I know something is coming...like my Birthday (capitalized because I do indeed think of it as a holiday :)) Christmas, any federal holiday for which the offices close, my family reunion in Mayfield Manti...(yes I do look forward to my family reunion I know its unpresidented...but you just don't know Mayfield ok.) Anyway you sense what I'm putting out there. I anticipate things and as I anticipate leaving the work force to enter into a new force the long 45 minute drive to work every morning becomes somewhat heinous and hateful. So I thought maybe getting my feelings out about it on the world wide web would allow me to release some resentment...I suppose we will see tomorrow if it worked. I am indeed grateful for my place in the workforce...but I anxiously await the change. I am going to have to find other oddities to blog about when I am at home...that don't involve cute baby noises...first baby movements...and things like that that belong on my family blog...they don't have a place here...this blog is clearly for things like....hilarious stories from the bathroom at work...falling in the parking lot on my way in to work...you know absurd things like that. I'll have to start getting creative...pray for me.

Get Out Of Denial!!!

I have had RECENT and UNFORTUNATE experiences with McDonalds in the last few weeks....called I can't stop eating it. Yes I am pregnant and I use to think when other pregnant women would say "I can only eat these fattening fries or this delicious malt because its all that sounds good" I use to think whatever you people mind over matter you can eat whatever you want! You don't have to eat all those things! FOOT IN MY MOUTH! I am being cursed because I thought it. When I bring my PB&J to work and my fat free crackers and cheese to work to snack on do you think that sounds good? NO! And surprise surprise when something doesn't sound DELICIOUS to you, the last thing you want to do is put it in your mouth! Here is where the problem comes in if you don't eat you get sick...real sick (unless you're one of like two in a billion) anyway eating is key to not feeling sick now I always though ok fine I'll eat an apple or I'll eat....some carrots. GOOD JOKE. Thats not how it works more often then not you have to eat something that sounds good to you you can't force yourself to eat something you don't want ...well I guess you can but it comes right back up so what was the point? No point. Ok so there is a little background and yes the only thing that has sounded delicious to me in the last two weeks is a Cheeseburger and "America's Favorite" Fries. I use to be one of those people that was like "Ooooooh gross McDonalds is sooo disgusting its so greasy and its not even good!" confession time: I WAS LYING TO LOOK COOL WITH THE REST OF THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO FAKE THAT STATEMENT! Stop lying everybody and just admit it McDonalds is SO good that we try to lie to ourselves and say its gross just so we won't visit the golden arches! Its ok admitting that you really love it won't make you eat there only if youre pregnant! So this is all I am saying stop lying to yourselves and embrace it.

Thank You PD!

The most WONDERFUL thing happened to me today on my lunch break. I had a rough morning and I needed a pick me up and I got exactly what I needed while driving back from lunch. I was stopped at a stop light that looked like this....
Let me briefly explain the drawing (self created thank you thank you) the blue are the cars at the intersection I am the Pink one! Ok I continue so I am sitting there and at least 15 policemen on bikes...10 in police cars and a giant fire truck and ambulance come surging down the road! Excitement! I loved it. So four police on motorcycles come whizzing into the intersection..now back to the drawing. The four "x"'s are the motocops. now invision it....the police man represented by the Green X...whips around to stop the movement of traffic so this mass crowd of law enforces can get through and while this is all happening the miracle happened. Green X police TIPPED his bike over in the excitement it hits the cement and if he had hoped nobody saw he had his hopes doused as his bike started emitting siren sounds and honks as it had been dropped on the cement. HAHAHAHA it got better...after embarrassed cop tips over he tried to hastily pick his bike back up and he TRIPS over it falling onto the road. I couldn't even drive I was laughing so hard. Now I magically feel better. A little laugh goes a looong way. I am sorry for all those who missed it!

"Yeeeeah I'll Just Leave It..Nobdy Will Notice"

Aaaah just another day in paradise you know. These are things that happen at work a liiiitle too frequently. One week its this...another week its dishes that nobody bothered to wash in the far away kitchen that stack up and are so dirty that there is no hope that a dishwasher can clean them so they must be thrown away....or our disposal explodes and fills the office with the DELICIOUS smell of refinery/sulfer pots in yellowstone. Anyway this is what happened today. SOMETHING not sure what....exploaded. Naturally we don't know what because nobody will fess up to their damage heaven forbid they clean up their own explosion. It appears to be some sort of fruity...slushy...mixture of things. I am trying with all my mind to imagine what on earth could have exploaded in this manner short of a soda pop but I swear it doesn't look like this...any ventures as to what this excellent substance is? Raise your hands if you want to come to my work and clean it! Not me thanks Diana for cleaning all the gross things cause Preggy Momma vomits at even the site of a small ant now a days.

I Am Having Premonitions

Maybe I am maybe I'm not. I have had a couple "pregnant lady" dreams. These dreams are very vivid...very memorable...very weird...and the best part is they feel even more real then your every day "realistic feeling" dream. So back to the matter at hand. Last night I had a dooozey of a dream. I had a dream that I went into labor...my delivery took all of five seconds it was quick and mostly painless and when the process was over we had a beautiful baby girl that had teeth a cute bob-hair cut and could walk and talk like a little mini two year old. I thought she was SO funny cause she kept telling everybody in her baby voice "Merry Christmas!" and she could say Grandma and Grandpa and she was so awesome. Now is it a premonition that she kept saying "Merry Christmas"? Because that is right about when I'm due...does this mean I am having a girl? Ok dream number two. About a month ago I had a dream that I was having to constantly repremand a miniature Spencer. We were in church and the little boy wouldn't get out from under the table he wanted to stay on the floor and make noise and make a mess...so I had to keep repremanding him. Now that one is quite a bit more realistic then my most recent one (unless you are a strong believer that the twilight series could really happen...like when Bella birthed a full fledged little child with teeth that tried to kill her from the inside...cross your fingers that doesn't happen to me. I do believe Spencer is 100% human...even though he doesn't need as much sleep as the rest of us...I digress) Anyways! Who thinks I'm having what? I personally think I am having a boy...for the simple reason that the Wall men just happen to have boys. Fact of life. Thoughts?

The Great Escape!

Last weekend something humiliating happened. I have been waiting to discuss this story with the world wide web until I was emotionally ready, and I think its time. I was at a shower for a cute little cousin last weekend, a wedding shower to be precise. It was wonderful, relaxed no rush to anything and as we walked in I noticed a bunch of ladies tying a quilt and I thought oooooh fun I want to be domestic! So I grabbed myself a few cinnamon rolls, cinnamon breadsticks...strawberries and ate to my contentment before I settled in for domesticity. Now lets back up. Earlier that morning I had pulled on my "skinny" jeans (I was feeling overly confident) and yes I had to pull a little more then wanted to get the button to meet the hole. But at long last they met and succeded in buttoning shut. VICTORY! I haven't had to purchase maternity ware yet and I am in NO rush to so I was ecstatic when those bad boys did up. Now fast forward. After I ate...and ate....and ate...I was feeling good so I sat down needle and thread in hand and got busy. A few minutes into the job my pants started feeling a liiiittle snug to say the least. I paid it no mind, I'd felt this feeling before. It was time to start a new line on the quilt so I leaned a bit farther over the quilting frames and thats when the travesty happened. If I hadn't been wearing a longer dress/shirt over my jeans my button would have putt Lisa's eye out who was sitting directly across from me. Thats right folks I burst a button. It didn't just POP off...It literally EXPLOADED through my jeans. It wasn't sewn on ok...it was inserted through the jean fabric...not one of those cheap buttons but a real sturdy guy. Sturdy my eye. It flew through the jean and left a gaping hole. The hole in my pants had a matching partner and that was the hole in my pride. Don't worry it was patched up quickly as Spencer sent me off to purchase four new dresses that I couldn't pop any buttons out of any time soon. Problem solved. So there you go there is my story don't judge me.

Jimmy Johns? Or Awkard Subs?

Which name is more appropriate? If you have ever eaten at Jimmy Johns you know what I am talking about. Now don't get me wrong I love myself some friendly service. Love some hey how are ya what can I get you today have a great day all that jazz. But Jimmy Johns takes it like twenty steps too far...mostly to the point of alright I can't eat my sub in PEACE! I am taking this out to my car! My last experience went something like this. I was with my friend Jill and you know they get her name off her deber card and continue to yell questions at her whilst we try to enjoy our sandwiches. "Jill how's your sandwich" "Jill are you guys doing alright?" "Jill whats up!" By the end of our lunch we were sprinting out of there hoping to leave unnoticed while they handled customers but no..."Hey see ya girls by Jill see you soon!" Not see us soon. You couldn't force me to go back in there. Does anybody else find themselves eating hastily to avoid lunchtime interuptions?? Or am I just anti social and rude? Hopefully not the later! This was a short post today but alas thats all I have to offer. Stay awkward Jimmy Johns! I am sure some people love you.

Boycott Sesame Street

I have a bone to pick with Sesame Street. Its obviously important since its bringing me out of my deep dark two month silence on the blogsphere! Forgive me for my absence I haven't even been busy...I've been watching movies, and thats really it. I just haven't had the drive or the subject matter. So sue me. Anyway back to the matter at hand! I finally have the material I have been waiting for for months. SESAME STREET. Idiots. They are fighting obesity one monster at a time. They've turned the cookie monster into some kind of veggie/fruit loving weirdo. Don't worry you guys he still loves cookies but mostly fruits and veggies! Come on kids you'd rather eat this carrot stick not that COOKIE! Stupid stupid stupid. I feel like their next move might be taking Elmo out of Elmo's World and putting him into Elmo's Garden. Maybe Oscar the Grouch can start inhabiting the local Veggie Stands. Get real you guys. Let Sesame Street be what its best at...Cookies...Trash...and Elmo's Gold Fish! I'm not letting my kids watch it until they reform this new way of KBS and take us back to the original good stuff...They'll be watching strictly Dragon Tales and Aurthur. (my own personal favorites that I would still watch if I didn't have to work all day. Sue me I'm still young at heart.) Anyway hopefully I'll get some more material to blog about soon so it won't be months until we're reunited...My next one may or may not have something to do with the food chain Jimmy Johns and their awkward way of business...Thinking about it.

Worth-While Purchases

When you're living on a budget there are times you find yourself asking this question: Need? or Want? Cursed question. Back in the day I always would have said I neeeed it because I want it so bad. And that would have sufficed! Not now a days kids. I've turned a new leaf. Now that question gets an honest answer...aaaah poop its only a want. Most of the time at least. Yesterday was an exception to the rule! I was browsing on Amazon.com, thinking yeah this is safe to be doing I won't find anything on here that I care about. Then I saw them. I had to have them. I called up my hubby and asked permission to drop the dollars it would require. To my great excitement he said to me "sure honey anything you want!" (he always says this even if its a want good man! I usually just won't ask if I know its a want not a need!) Gosh dangit this was a NEED! I needed this for my posterity! Spencer would agree with me. In five business days from today a package will arrive on my door step. In this package awaits four hours of pure entertainment in the form of two world class movies. The Little Giants...and The Little Rascals!!!! Tadaaaa!!! I can't wait to watch some He Man Woman Haters and watch the Anexation of Puerto Rico. I could have ran the anexation of puerto rico...I could have run it goood. I wish I was in that movie it is a magical legacy. If anybody wants to come over and watch these flims let us know...you may have to get on a waiting list these are popular movies...and nobody wants to miss out on these! Who even has these anymore! I'll tell you who...US!

Digging With Dignity

Alright this is a sensitive subject just to warn you. Spencer and I were laying in bed the other night having an absolutely fabulous laugh. We were laughing over the very subject I have chosen to blog about today. You can thank Spencer if you get a laugh out of this post today, because it is inspiration from him!
Have you ever: witnessed, done, been caught in the act, laughed at, scorned, judged someone for....PICKING THEIR NOSE?!
Shame on you if you have. I don't believe for one MOMENT that you don't sometimes take care of some pickage. Everybody does it! You chastise your children for picking their noses....when really the only reason we chastise them is because they are doing it in public! "Hey get your finger out of your nose!...you can do that when you're alone so save it for later!" That is more like it. The prime example of the secretive nose picker is the one who does it in the "privacy" of his own care. First of all that is the LEAST private spot to take care of dig'n. No where else are you surrounded on all side by windows, and not only that but you are also surrounded by people with windows too! They can seeee you! Not secrative, not private. So here is the solution. Dig with Dignity. If you get caught taking care of business give a smile and wave perhaps. Maybe a "hey how are ya" gun salute, wink, and tongue click combination you know the one I'm talkin about cock the thumb back make the necessary clicking noise and wink got it? Yeah you did just catch me picking my nose but I am not ashamed, I know you did it five minutes ago...and unbeknownst to you somebody saw YOU! So there you go people...don't be ashamed. Carry some hand sanatizer please thats all I ask...and maybe some spare kleenex or napkins in your car to disgard of your business. Carry on!

Destiny

Am I destined to be a world class cook? Or am I just destined to drool all over my keyboard at work and wish...? The latter I think. What the heck am I talking about?? I'll tell you. I have found a brand spanking new hobby...be it a waste of time or not I don't caaare! I LOOOOVE reading cooking blogs. All day long I could do it. I want to be one of the noble and greats, these women are WAY better then Martha and I bet they haven't done any hard criminal time! I find myself reading these blogs and thinking...what must it be like to have nothing more to do then bake all day and take pretty pictures with your awesome canon digital cameras!? What must it be like to just happen over to a baking supply store and by all the weird necessary things to make amazing deserts to post on your blog. These women have so much time on their hands and I love it. I love time on the hands when it means you get to be creative in the kitchen all day.. I love to see the kids decorating impossibly delicious and hard to make sugar cookies! What a way to bring the family together! Baking is the new it thing...maybe its not new, but its newly discovered to me! Sue me I'm not domestic thats what my husband is for! He's Captain Domestic (captain makes it more manly :)) He could tackle these nutso recipes in a heart beat I know it! I must learn so I can be one of the greats! Teach me ladies pleeease! I will follow your blogs all my days until I have become sophisticated in my baking. Thank you for your inspirational deliciousness. Lets take it to the kitchen! (p.s. I want me a canon camera...you can't be a successful baker without one apparently.) Also I am going to add all the cooking blogs I love to my blogger list so dive in folks! You won't regret it...your thighs might but you won't!

Is It Weird?

Two posts in ONE DAY?! Geeet out. Well its because the first post today didn't really count as a post...it was more of a notice or alert. So I had some things on my mind today that I thought what better to do with those thoughts then post them on the world wide web?! Nothing better to do with them. There are things that everybody does that everybody thinks is weird. Don't place yourself a head above the rest you know there are weird things you do that people think....what are you doing you are so WEIRD! As I thought about this I thought to myself: Hey I wonder what I do that people think is weird. I came with a FEW things to say the least. I thank you all for loving me inspite of my weird corks. Anyway a few things I came up with are as follows:
*Is it weird that instead of eating on my lunch break I sleep in my car?: I always wonder as I recline my seat back pull my blanket and pillow out of the back seat, and turn on Harry Potter (on disk)...Do people think this is totally weird, when they walk by my window and see me peacefully slumbering in my running car (have to have heat doy!) blankets pulled tight, pillow so comfortable. What is this girl doing here in broad daylight catching some Z's??
*Is it weird that I love to blog about nothing?: Sometimes I wonder if people think hey this chick is totally nuts with the stuff that runs through her head.
*Is it weird that I love to organize?: I have been working on a project for the last two weeks. It began with brainstorming my duties as the receptionist and continued to take form as I put together a VERY organized binder named Receptionist Manual! I finished it two yesterday and everybody who passed my desk was treated to a "hey look at this that I did!!" is it weird that I love to organize? Be it my kitchen, my bedroom, my desk, my food. (hate when my food touches each other on my plate)
*Is it weird that I hate cake secretly?: Is it werid that for my wedding all I really wanted was Paradise Bakery to cater my desert and bring in all their cookies?? His and Her cookies how cute would that have been??
*Is it weird to love the numbers?: I love to balance my check book. I love to write things down in my check register and write down all the things that I spend money on. I loooove to work those numbers. Is that so wrong?
*Is it weird that I wish I went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?: Is it so wrong that when I listen to Harry Potter book on disk that I imagine myself there wand in hand? I love it. I wish it was real so bad. Is it sooo wrong that I love to listen to it to and from work, during nap time, and any other time I find myself driving in my car???
*Is it weird that I love animiation?: Sue me for wanting to watch an animated pixar or dreamworks or disney over a stupid real human movie. They are so much more entertaining to me. Is it so wrong that I'd rather watch The Incredibles then Live Free Die Hard or Madagascar rather than Confessions of a Shopaholick! Sue me.
Those are most of the things I came up with I KNOW there are more but in the interest of saving space and time those are just the few that I jotted down. What are your weird corks that people live with and love?

Happy Birthday New Blog

Attention Family Members. (sorry only family) I have created a new blog. You should have gotten an invitation if I have your email. If I do not have your email...you didn't get one. So I am not quite sure how to go about inviting you but I do love you anyways. If you have a desire to view said blog please feel free to email me or post on this one and I'll add you lickity split. I'll need an email address just so you know. Anyway its up and running and I'm feeling good about it. Little bit'o what Spence and I get up to these days.

Update on the dishes scenario...works like a charm. That sign I posted has received positive feed back in the form of people have begun to wash their own dishes! We'll see how long it lasts.

AND NOW I'M BACK...FROM OUTER SPACE...I JUST WAKLED IN TO FIND YOU HERE WITHOUT THAT LOOK UPON YO FACE!

Apologies! I have received hate mail after hate text after it all to tell me that I am a blogging FAILURE! I am so sorry. My job became demanding all of a sudden for a few weeks there. But I am making time right now to discuss an important matter. The dishwasher at my work is broken. Not a big deal you say? Wrong. It is a big deal. Yesterday it was pure mayhem people not knowing what to do there were NO dishes in the cupboards or drawers...PLENTY of dishes in the sink but they were DIIIIIRTY! Hark what is this? a Dish scrubber???? Is this just a giant TOOTHBRUSH?! No people its not. If you pour a dot of soap on that bad boy you can actually CLEANSE THE DISH! Anyway I'm not complaining just giving a simple solution to a simple problem. That's all. I don't mind doing the dishes....only problem is my phone doesn't allow me to be far away...thus I can't stand at the sink for 30 minutes to wash dem dishes. A sweet soul from accounts payable was doing the dishes last night, and this morning when I arrived I wanted to come to an agreement with that broken dishwasher. It is currently OVERFLOWING with dirty dishes. It can hold no more...at this point the dishes begin to pile in the sink. No dishes in the cupboards or drawers what to do? Well here is what I did. I washed them all this morning, then I posted a loving sign that reads the following: "Attention One And All!! The Dishwasher Is Currently Broken. To Avoid Pile Ups In The Sink And To Ensure That There Are Dishes Through Out The Day Please Wash Your Dishes After You Are Finished With Them! Sorry For The Inconvenience. We Hope To Have The Problem Fixed ASAP! Thank You P.S. Or Use The Paper/Plastic Dishes Provided!" Simple problem. Simple Solution....I think. Lets see if it holds up.
So that was my important "dish" (haha) for the day. I have also had complaints that I don't do weekly updates of my marrital bliss...This blog is not for that mushy jazz. I am thinking about opening a whole new blog just for that magic. It will however be open only by invitation...can't have that information flyin around the world wide web. So family who have complained hold onto your shorts while I think about the best course of action.
I don't think I have any other significant stories or anicdotes to share for the present time but I will be on the look out.

The Gym Not Da Club

Spencer and I have made it a beautifully sickening habit to get up at 5 AM (am means morning not anything else thats right I wake up that early now) to go to the gym. I have made a few discoveries in my days at the gym and I believe that I have been a member of enough gyms to be able to write this...lets call it an expose...on gym-types. Let me run you through my resume first, just to put your mind at ease as to my expertise and knowledge/experience. I have been a proud member of the following, Excel, Fitness Zone, 24 Hour Fitness, and finally Fitness Zone again. Let me just say that its been an honor to test out the fitness waters of the various work out joints. As I look back on my experiences at these different gyms I find that there are certain molds that some people fit in quite nicely at the gym. I would like to treat you to my insight on this matter.
What? This Isn't Da-Club??'type:
Sweat bands on the upper middle bicep, that match the sweat band on their heads, that match the color of their cut-off or mini-tank, that match the stripe on their Nike shorts (never pants you can't show off your cut calves in PANTS! duh.) This type generally wanders around the gym dazed and confused. I use to wonder why they did this but I figured it out this morning...its because they are so confused, they could have sworn they set out for the club this evening and don't know HOW they ended up here...that or they accidentally hit their heads on the mirror examinging too closely their fabulous physique.
Two More Pounds To Go!!'type:
This catagory is usually mostly for women (a few men have slipped in don't you take me for a discriminater!) who usually tend to be the girlfriends of type What? This Isn't Da-Club?? They usually take a shower and get ready before coming to the gym. They carefully apply their make up, and eeeever so gently slip their head band over their peeerfectly curled pony-tail. Their head band naturally matches their tank top, that matches their sports bra, matches or compliments, and by compliments I mean like Complimentary Colors Duh! Their tank top will usually somehow match either their pristine clean Nike kicks, or their suuuuperbly tight work out pants, so you can see the result of all their difficult "molding exercises". Now these ladies, or gentlemen, are usually found on the treadmill, they sprint anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes, and then walk for 30. HOWEVER! There is always the one or two of these folks that actually sprint for the entire 35 to 45 minutes, they then go to some kind of pump class, kick-box dancing class, or something of the sort.
Leave Me Alone I'm Angry and Pumped Up!'type:
These are most always men. Angry looking men that make loud angry noises when they lift their HUGE weights. The noises are generally roars, more than grunts, grunts are normal. Roars mean this: "hey check me out I can lift some much weight that I could beat you up if you look at me!" These guys should NEVER be approached. They are at the gym for one reason and one reason only....to be able to pump you up! Their game happens after the gym when they're all hyped up and masculin'd up.
This Is My New Years Resolution'type:
These type usually show up and work vigorously for the whole month of January, they are there every day without fail with their ipods in working their little guts out! Then February hits and it turns into more of a twice a week sorta thing...March hits and they forgot what that 40 bucks a month was for that kept coming out of their checking account...oh I signed up for the gym?!?!
I'm Here to Get Fit, and Get Chicks:
These type generally fit into the What? This Isn't Da-Club?? type, but they vary slightly in that they usually will go find the machines their girlfriends or desired girlfriends are walking on and stand on the front of them flexing their calves, flirting, asking what the girls are up to tonight! They also usually only stay on a machine for a set or so and migrate to where the ladies are.
Working Out Is Serious Ok!'type:
This type is the most normal type of them all. This type gets to the gym, they do their various work outs, they say hi to just the few people they sometimes may know...talk about how the kids are doing in school maybe, stoping only to grab a drink at the fountain maybe..finish their work out and leave the gym. This type maybe will come in pairs a friend a husband or a wife will be with them. They mind their business do their work and thats right you guys LEAVE. They are not the socialites of the gym, people think they're weird, anti-social, snobby...take your pick.
Come On Lets Be Friends!'type:
This type will usually follow people around the gym trying so hard to make small talk, crack jokes, or hand out useless facts. They usually will try to help people who maybe look like first timers, and they try to make best friends with all the trainers and staff of the gym. Its not to get discounts don't be fooled, its to gain status. Status is important at the gym, and the more people that say hi to you...the cooler you are. Its not all about the body hellooo!!

So that is what I have learned/observed over the years at the gym. I hope you all can relate. Not hope...I know you can. Especially if you currently or ever have lived in Provo. The types in Provo are easiest to spot, but don't get me wrong, the types are in all gyms. Get out there and look for them I promise you'll find them.

Tetris...Not Just For Kids

Turns out Tetris isn't just a kids game. Its actually more than that. Its a way of life...its a work ethic....its really an occupation for some. I bet you donuts to dollars that if I googled tetris chat right now I would find a lot of weird people who just play tetris and talk about tetris, and sleep on a bed made out of tetris blocks and eat captain crunch for breakfast, (because its delicious of course). I am converting Spencer into a tetris geek along with myself. We call each other in the day and play tetris together on the phones. Don't worry I still get all my work done ok! Tetris is more of a pass the time until five o'clock, the magical hour. Today I beat my high score and that is why I decided to blog about it. I invite everyone to get on board with tetris its the best/worst thing you'll ever do. Let me just throw out a quick warning, if you play it for 6 or more hours you WILL get a migrain. Its not avoidable. Something about staring at the screen for that long without peeling your eyes away, it takes a toll on the nerves or muscles or whatever it is in your skull that throbs with pain when one gets a migrain. Anyway I was thinking also how awesome it would be to breed tetris champions. I am thinking maybe we teach our son to play tetris from infancy, we can get him a special tetris shapes bed and I think it'd be totally awesome. I dunno if I can get Spencer on board with that but its worth a shot. I mostly just like the satisfaction of fitting the pieces together to create a perfect line of colors that magically disappear. Its feels really good to see it all "coming together". Thats tetris talk. Anyway I just wanted to petition everybody to try this out its a free tetris site and I'm SURE its big hit! http://www.freetetris.org/ Get in on that. Let me know if anyone thinks they can beat me. Fat chance but let me know.

Tradition Time!

This time of year is very special. Its a time of over-eating, over-indulging, over-booking of schedules, over-spending, but most important its a time of TRADITIONS! Tradition! Traditiooooooooon, Tradition! (forgive my brief laps into Fiddler On the Roof) All that over-stuff gets over looked because we are too busy being grateful and loving our families and loving our traditions. As a newlywed I discover it is time to part from some traditions, cling to others, and create new ones. I invite you all to peak into some traditions I have thought of, you have my full permission to tradition poach...I won't gripe about it after all it is Christmas.

Traditions Old New and Borrowed:
1. Ugly Sweater Outtings. Be it to dinner, to a family party, to a wedding or just out on the town, ugly sweaters have to be tied into the Christmas seasons somehow. It starts as outings and before you all know it you'll be getting the Wall family Christmas card and you'll see our ugly sweaters and our faces full of Christmas Cheer. Its a simple dream but there you have it.
2. Putting up the Christmas tree while watching a Christmas movie and drinking some Hot C. Be it Coffee or Coaco, whatever your guilty pleasure.
3. Christmas morning reading out of Luke Ch. 2 before the kiddies are all aloud to go open presents, so as not to lose the focus of the true meaning of Christmas!
4. White Elephant! With whoever really, as long as I get to open some kind of batman nightlight or hello kitty electric toothbrush.
5. Driving around looking at people's conservative or lavish Christmas lights, rating them with a honk of the horn. (This Christmas tradition was established with non other than one of my best friends from many years gone by Jillian Wendler.)
6. Baking some kind of goods for your neighbors (service with a smile por favor)
7. Family Gatherings on the Wall and Payne side!!
8. Opening a pair of Christmas PJ's on Christmas Eve, so we can open presents in style of course!
Thats all for now. I invite anyone who reads this to share with me some traditions that they feel I may find useful. Merry Christmas one and all!

Danger To The Driving World For....4 More Discs.

I want to apologize to those people driving around me or trying to contact me on the phone and also give out a warning to those thinking of following in my footsteps...allow me to elaborate. I have recently stumbled across something marvelous, and I believe I made mention of it in my previous posts but allow me to refresh memories. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, on disc. I am in the very end of the book and this accounts for my lack of attention to the road when I drive. I can't help it. I can't help but get wound up in Harry Hermione and Ron's quest to destroy LV's (can't say his name its TABOOOO) horcuruxes. When they are crashing out of Gringotts wizarding bank on the back of a dragon I felt like I was flying out of that joint! Volume on 45 heat cranked up seat slightly reclined I am in HEAVEN driving home every night now! I think to myself every night as I hop into the car yes I can't WAIT to listen to HP. I can't help but get caught up in it. Before I know it I've hit Centerville and I'm nearly home and only four more chapters in! However we're starting to wind down...Hogwartz is getting ready to rebell and fight so these next couple nights home may be risky so everybody buckle up. My next venture of book on tape will be a little less hearty racey I promise. So now I'd like to end with an encouragment but warning twain in one...if you travel long distances to work and feel that its the worst part of the day, turn it into the best by getting a book on disc/tape whatever fits your fancy, and enlighten your mind on your way home. Turn it on and before you know it you're rolling into your driveway. Do it I dare you.

Calling All Drivers!!

Ho Ho Ho and a Meeeerry Commute to you all!! This morning was a treasure and some joy to be on the roads. Sometimes I wonder to myself if there is a mass memo that goes out to all the morons that states hey if you love to risk yours and others lives by climbing behind the wheel of a vehicle please, now is an excellent time to get out there and do your worst! Thats what it seemed like this morning anyway while I traversed to work. I was driving so careful obeying the laws of COMMON SENSE driving NO more than 40 mph and things seemed to be ok as I made my way through Davis County. Once I hit Salt Lake County though, deal was off...That must be where the memo's fall short because when I hit SLC It was like first car into the barriers gets 50 points!! Every mile it seemed like there was some car smarshed up into a barrier followed closely by another car that was trying to beat it there. (Did I just type smarshed?? I have been listening to too much Harry Potter on disc...) Anyway it seemed to me that all the most expensive cars were winning today in the race towards the barriers...maybe they were testing out how well made their cars were?? Not so well turns out. Anyway I just wanted to give a few friendly reminders as this is just the beginning of a fun filled winter season on the roads and I want us all to play nice.

Rules and Etiqutte for Snow Driving:
1. Small cars stay to the right lanes you know you have no plans to move as fast as those big ones with all the wheel drive you can wrap an engine around...stick to your guns and keep it to the safe side.
2. Big cars stay away from the little guys we're just trying to mind our own business and don't need you and your cocky attitude swerving all up in our b'niz.
3. If you see a snowplow coming your way..don't speed up to see if you can beat it through the snow. Let it pass you and make the roads better for all of us or it'll be plowing the remains of you car out of its way after you've hit someone!
4. Be Kind Don't Ride. In the snow its difficult to stop real quick on short notice; baring this in mind its so educated to keep a good amount of distance between yourself and the cars around you, be they to the side, the front, the behind, or the diagonal. Use caution in your close quarters you dopes and we'll all get to our destinations safer.
5. In reference to rule four...don't get all hot and bothered by people who follow that rule! Follow their example and cool your jets..or your gas pedal foot really.
6. I understand that all those people who do get all hot and bothered by the rule 4 followers are that way generally because they have people to see places to be, so on the days when the snow doth fall leave early to avoid the pressured feeling lateness in the traffic crawl.

These things I leave with you along with my blessing that your commutes might be safer, more friendly, and more efficient. and..."God rest ye merry dri-i-ivers let nothing you dismay!"

Christmas Tree'N

Aaaand Tri City Nursery takes the CAKE! Last night for Family Home Evening the Wall family gathered one and all, and by all I mean all TWELVE of us! Thats right. Anyway we all gathered to go (as Jake so lovingly refers to it as...) Christmas Tree'N!!! We had two options....a nursery in Salt Lake (booooo!!!) or the local Nursery in West Kaysville (haazaaah!!!) After a vote, majoirty won and off to the West Kaysville Tri City Nursery we caravaned. But first...a snowball fight had to ensue... and so naturally I flew to the car and locked myself in. I don't participate in such frivolities. Someone could put your eye out, or you could get hit in the face with a snowball like my sister-in-law Brittany did. Not to worry her husband Adam avenged her attacker who just so happened to be my own husband. After all the danger had passed, we piled high and deep into three cars and went on our merry way, in many ways re-inacting the precious opening scene of "Christmas Vacation", the only thing that was missing was the giant semi trying to run us off the road. When we arrived I wasn't quite sure what we had ahead of us (as our Christmas trees have always been the ones from boxes that you shape and drape and call it good) and as we walked into the nursery my eyes delighted in the Santa Clause sitting in the middle of the room and the merry man circling Santa playing his guitar and singing cheery Christmas tunes. Things only got better as I walked into the back area and found to my great surprise an array of cookies and hot chocolate!! Best of all.....FREE! Come one come all and enjoy some free warming and fattening treats. Its ok if you eat five cookies because hunting for Christmas trees can be a sweaty task. And sweaty it was, between me learning to do a heel click and weaving in and out of the trees looking for the fattest, fullest, straightest most beautiful tree in the forest! (ok not in the forest just the back of the nursery but I think forest sounds better.) So all in all family night Christmas adventure was as merry and jolly as it could have been and we have the pictures to prove it on Mamma Wall's camera. Sorry you don't get to enjoy them. ( I know I'm so mean to tease you like this.) Now tonight on the docket Spencer and I have our own Christmas tree to attend to and incase you were wondering we'll be doing it right and opening some wedding gifts while we decorate! Its so fitting.

WE'RE BAAAACK!!!

Ah wedded bliss. For all those who left me comments and birthday wishes thank you one and all I always love me a good birthday salute. We got home last night and it was just a delightful past two weeks!! The wedding was beautiful and went by fast, and the honeymoon was likewise fast and perfect! Spencer treated me like a queen on my birthday taking me to all the places any girl could possibly want to go on her birthday. We got home late and had plenty to do! By the time we got to bed it was late and our kitchen was markedly cleaner. You know I can't sleep when I know that there are more things to be done than I have time so I tried to make a small dent in them last night. Any way boring. There is much to be done this week from putting our house together to getting ready for the Christmas festivities! There are plenty of traditions waiting to be made like lighting our Christmas tree whilst watching a Christmas movie and drinking...something that yells holiday cheer! Then comes all the Christmasy things like Temple Square lights and Holiday dinners... I love this time of year it always makes me so happy and cheery even more so than usual, and this year add on my cute new husband. I have to start finding more funny things to blog about now that we're back...I usually don't like all the personal life updates those are boring unless something hilarious happened that brings a smile to everybody's face. So rest assured I will be looking for hilarious, inspirational, stupid, annoying, happy, tear jerking things to blog about over the next few weeks! Thanks one and all and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

One of the Many Reasons

Today has been a VERY successful day. First it began at the gym and I hurt which I guess is successful. Then I got home and Spencer made me a delicious breakfast for champions and sent me off to work! The success continued to grow when I got to work the new IT man scored some cool points when he installed a DVD decoder on my computer so I didn't have to stream anymore (last week we received an email from our boss that basically said 'hey all you idiots out there that are streaming videos while at work you're ruining our network speed and creating an impossible work environment curse all of you!') Aaaanyway back to not streaming. So he installed the wonder worker that has enabled me to watch my FAVORITE show while I work on lists and such, "Golden Girls"! There is nothing better then updating the company roster's while listening to hilarious old woman's jokes and anecdotes from dead ringer look alike for my grandma, B Arthur. I didn't think it could really get better until Spencer called me and after some good conversation he pitched a sucessful and GENIUS idea to me. He came up with a beautiful idea for our long sojourn to San Diego for our honeymoon.... we will be writing thank you cards all 13 hours and listening to HARRY POTTER ON TAPE! Does this man love me or what? He does and he is my perfect match. It was like confirmation 1,110,203. He just said he wanted to listen to Harry Potter for 13 hours while we drive to our destination and in that instant my heart skipped a beat and I thought...ah this is bliss. So THAT was another success. So now for one last success I created an awesome to-do list encompassing Title, Creative Cute Image, and a 25 bulleted List. Even Better? Spencer ASKED me to make the list...again another testament to how well he knows me and appreciates my obsessive habits. So all in all this day really has been quite divine and I can't wait to get home and start crossing things off our to-do list!
SideNote: Thank you Ry for your delicious post on the meathead dopes in Provo. It brought a hilarious snicker to my throat.

I am thinking about starting up a new blog....I think maybe I'll make up a controversial drama filled life put a fake name on it and count how many hits a day the blog gets. WAIT hasn't that already been done?? I was shocked to say the least to find out that my favorite soap blog was nothing but a soap melodramatic farse of skilled writing and a snickering mom sitting behind the scenes watching the world fall in love with her made up love story. What made things even more agonizing was when I initially shared this blog with my sister her immediate response was "I can't keep reading this its so stupid and fake and I'm bored." Well things got heated. I had to defend what I knew was right and true and she was stubborn and wouldn't give into the fact that it HAD TO BE REAL! When the news hit me that it was a fake the LAST person I wanted to find out was Ry! Needless to say I got the "I told you so!!!" I had coming. I would like to attribute my lack of blogging to this resent devistation to my life but that would make me like them! A truth bender. My reason of absence is simple... I have been too lazy, there has been nothing that I desired to blog about because nothing is going on that sparks my fancy or that isn't already being blogged about by the entire nation. (ie: prop 8, Obama Ellect, failing economy) Those topics don't belong on my care free blog. They're too....heavy and personal for my page however I do support all those outspokens who do voice their concerns. I'm a supportive of freedom of speech love it.
Anyway things I'd like to blog about are the upcoming Holidays and things I want to take place:

November:
*GET MARRIED: half check (full check in 12 days!)
*Get our apartment ready to live in: half check
*Clean the bathroom so it doesn't look like girl land: ....working on it
*Obtain Marriage License: CHECK (side note: it costs as much to get married as it does to get a business license so in essence by getting married am I starting en enterprise of some kind? Kind of thrilling.)
*Vote for President: check
December:
*Get safely back from our honeymoon
*Put up my first ever Christmas Tree as a married lady
*Keep my fingers crossed that I don't hit any Christmas trees this year on the freeway! No repeats of last year please.
*Stay within the discussed budget for Christmas festivities. I think I can I think I can I think I can! Whatever I KNOW I can! I love me a good budget. As I've said before "Mo Money Mo Problems"
January
*New Years Resolution: Become a world class cook in 2009....that or just learn to cook.
So thats it. That is my Holiday to do list and I hope to continue my check marks. In advance thank you to all those who urged me to make another post it feels good to be back.

Here Comes the Bride

Ok SUE me I had to do it. 34 DAYS AND COUNTING! See these picture??? I'm marrying that fox. He can even cook! Anybody interested in making a count down chain with me? You know the ones you'd make in Kindergarten that you'd string around the room with so many green and red links? Except lets do purple and gold links for my wedding colors! If anybody is interested let me know maybe I'll set up a chain workshop I think those are a dying art and its sad. I can't believe it is finally upon me! It seemed forever away and now I think to myself every week until my wedding there is an event that will make that week go fast and that = my wedding coming faster! I can't wait to be pronounced Mrs. Spencer Wall....pronounced is probably the wrong word with the way we're going about things but you know you get the gist. The wedding dress is altered the suits are ordered the food is picked along with every other thing and we're ready to roll! I can't wait for all the prepratory biz with showers and such. I also can't wait to wake up at 4:30 the morning of my wedding after having 2 hours of sleep (you know I won't sleep more then that I'll be more nervous/excited than when I know Santa is in the very next room) and going to my cousin's house to have her make me all glamorous and fab. Who needs sleep or awareness when you're getting married! Nobody. Ok so this was important to talk about and document but I also have one more thing to say...I got caught up reading a blog today...caught up for 3 hours. A sweet poor soul in love with her best friend has chosen to document the WHOLE nity grity and why am I convinced this is real do you ask? Because she has made it so its closed comments so that you can't comment on her and tell her what a tard she is....its real because if it was fake you KNOW those comments would be open and people would read those all day and laugh hysterically at how seriously everybody took it...thats what I would do at least. Anyway I made five different people read it today and 4 out of the 5 are hooked! everybody has got to invest in it....I don'tk now how else to give you the link (I love the people who can say "click here" and highlight it and it goes but I'm not savy so I don't know how sue me.) http://mysuperhopelessromance.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html I mostly wanted to dedicate this post to Cordy (yes its her name not a type of ugly pants) You go get your man girl....You are a tiger bless you, you've lost your lbs, you've freshened up your look, and you're on a roll, can't nobody hold you down! I love it its provided me with a dang good read today.

The "Common" Plauge

I personally believe that there is nothing worse then the common cold and its being passed around like a bad joke right now. Now everyone is entitled to their own opinion and my opinion goes something like this: I would much rather have the flu and be throwing up for ONE day then be suffocating under immense sinus pressures for two weeks. I felt the dreaded tickle on Sunday and I just knew that I would wake up suffering from more than exhaustion. I was right I woke up with a flame torch to the back of my throat (or so it felt) a sinus pressure head ache and of course...one side of my nose completely useless. There is nothing worse then tossing and turning at night trading sides so that your nose clogs on a different side then it currently was. That can be time consuming and sleep preventing. Anyway I digress...I woke with the cold going full throttle and as I've stated in a far previous post I have entered the age of adulthood and responsibility now, and were it two years ago I would have laid back down shut off my alarm and gone right back to sleep but this is a new day and a new time. A time where it matters not whether I can breath fully out of both sides, it doesn't matter if my throat feels as though it may light on fire at any moment, I still have a job thats calling my name and its not one that can be brushed off on a whim. So I headed to work, even though I was a walking plague. This should have been at least a week long cold but thanks to my sweet Spencer I am healed four days early! I was still in bad shape yesterday but this morning I awoke feeling fresh and new. So may I just say to those that are hacking and sneezing and sniffing and wheezing....use hand sanitizer please when you touch things....say it don't spray it....I don't share my spit with you please don't share your germs with me. May this season bring wellness and joy.

"Free"=Fake Out

Has the cruel world taught you nothing?? A lady on the news the other night offered to give away her house for "free". Naturally at the world FREE people came swarming the media the community everybody was up in a riot about this "free" house. Well I have a newsflash for you kids nothing is ever FREE. When she says free she means yeah you can have the actual home for free but what ISN'T free is the cost of moving, and once that bad boy is loaded up and ready to go where are you going to PUT it?? You can't very well just set that thing in your driveway you're going to have to PURCHASE again not for free, a piece of land to set this house on. So once everything is all said and done its not FREE. I see people being mislead by this Free word and getting things all up in a bunch about it. Fact-o-the-matter is I'm still interested in it. Its a cute house, I could fill it with cute things and cute smells (well Spencer can be in charge of cute smells since I don't cook as of yet.) I took this lady's information down and I intend on giving her a call today. I have begun researching properties for sale in every area I can think of and it seems like from top to bottom this could be quite a pricey acquisition. Thought: Why not just invest in a home that is ALREADY on a lot for about the same price you're incurring rather then deal with the stress of moving a home (can't be simple) to another location...by buying the already placed home you're skipping like 12 steps right? I dunno its just one of the many thoughts in my head. I love the word Free and the whirlwind it creats. Buy one get one FREE, FREE shirt with any purchase over $100. Free puppies (definitely not free those things rack up the bill just ask mother how Free Rusty was, except don't ask in front of Daddy Gary he'll get upset.) So my fair weather friends may you learn this important lesson...nothing in life comes free but sometimes it might come at a great discount. Take what you can get.

The Halloweiner

Ladies and Gentlemen it is has been faaaar too long since we last bonded over the world wide web and I have felt the feed back on it. There is definitely PTO time with my work but there is no such thing as PTO with the blogsphere. It takes real dedication and commitment....sort of like raising a child. In fact I'm pretty postive its about the same. What have I even been doing in the last three to four weeks of my absence you ask? I don't even know... can't even give you a good excuse or even really a good made up one. I can only give you the truth and that is that I have been too self involved to pay attention to worldly things that I may want to discuss on my blog. Normally something funny somebody does in the media or really anywhere will catch my attention and get my wheels rolling but my creative wheels have run to an abrupt halt in the last month as I have been focusing on a wedding and the things therein. Those plans get you and they get you good. They get your mind all occupied and not only your mind but your time! Time is no longer yours...my time certainly isn't mine its now and forever dedicated to others and I'm A-OK with that. Who needs it anyway was my previous thought until I started getting my lashings and whippings for neglecting my bluties (blogging + duties) So let me say that I am repenting of my neglectful manner and I am changing my ways...maybe. We'll see how long I can keep this thing rolling I prefer to put lots of faith in myself and think I can balance all so I think I can now dedicate myself once again to documenting on this bad boy. The only problem is I need more fuel then the failing economy, unimpressive presidentail candidates that use to enthrall me but now they bore me, and I don't reeeeally want to document all my wedding plans because the intent of this blog isn't to put people to sleep and as enthralled as I am with those things I know that I may be the only one so I spare you all. For today I will write about what has been in the back of my mind for a couple days. Halloweiner's. I have never been a Halloween fan and that makes me .... a Halloweiner. My parents are also Halloweiners becasue they turn out the porch lights at 8 o'clock signifying to the kids knock all you want but you're not getting so much as a tootsie roll (the worst possible candy depsoite ever into your candy bag...unless of course its a bushel of tootsies) I watched my mother open an invitation with dread etched all over her face yesterday to a costume party one of her best friends throws every year....and eeevery year they come up with a reason not to go but the invite never ceases to come. I just one day wish they would go so I could see what they try to pull off. My favorite thing to do on Halloween is to watch a scary movie and occassionally look at all the adorable little kids that come around at 5...what do I hate the most Halloween parties that I have to dress up at and the 15 year olds that come to my door. Those 15 year olds are Hallooweiners if you ask me. The only good thing that we got out of Halloween is the movie Hocus Pocus and that really is it. So let it come and this year I actually will be taking around two cute little girls but I'll be happy when the greedy lame holiday is over!
Over and Out,
The Original Holloweiner

Its In Our Blood

I think the only reason I ever have the ability to make someone laugh comes from my genes....that or my "fat kid theory" Which entails a personality development in elementary it goes something like this...there are two types of fat kids in elementary; the fat kid who knows they're fat and withdraws and becomes the quiet unsure child...or the fat kid who knows they're fat...embraces it and decides their personality will have to pull them through; and this child becomes the funny fat kid...class clown....and so on. Anyway that's one theory of mine, and I sorta lean to that but I swear to you humor runs in my family and I am prepared to back that up. This is a comment from my cousin Tia on one of my posts and it had me rolling just thinking about the types of people there are out there just waiting to be watched! I want to share this with the world wide web because I got a kick out of it and I know you will to. So sit back and imagine ...downtown salt lake, a planet all its own.

Ok laughed myself sick. It's the little things in life huah cuz. I find myself recalling my days as a working girl for MeetingsAmerica on 4th and 4th in Salt lake. My office faced the street and now I'm missing the following people all over again.

Homeless Harry and Holly who would wake, still drunk, at 11 o'clock, on the grass under the big oak in front of the building.

Chester Copperpot, who swore that there was an ancient Spanish treasure buried just under the surface of our front stairs. He would pace the sidewalk and dig in the soft garden beside the step with big fat fingers until the coppers came to take him somewhere safe. This was a weekly occurrence.

Club girl, who walked home at 7 or 8 still wearing the glittery half shirt and tinsy winsy animal print skirt that she wore to the club last night.

Cafe Late Couple. The ultimate urban couple heading off for a morning late on the veranda of a cool "locals only" cafe. Sometimes on their tricked out beach cruisers, sometimes hand in hand, one time on segways, always in expensive jeans and envy worthy shoes.

Paranormal Pete who regailed our office on a weekly basis with tales of how our building was haunted with the ghosts of disgruntled turn of the century school children and a horse drawn charriot that circled the building. I can not count the times that he dragged me up to the attic to show me the fingernail marks in the walls of the tiny detention room where naughty children were sent or out to some strange tracks in the freshly fallen snow to prove his point.

I share your pain Miss Payne. Don't worry though the sting dulls with time, and you will go on and come across other fun characters in life. You'll be just fine.

Things That Perk Me Up

What kind of things does one register for for their wedding? Is it immature or practical to register for an inflatable giraffe? What if I get carried away with the scanner and I scan everything in sight at Bed Bath and Beyooooond (said with a dreamy expression on my face)? These are things that have been worrying me as of late. My anxiously awaiting pre-husband has brought to my attention that I unnecessarily stress over useless things. Is gift registry useless or is it valid for me to exude a little anxiety over? That is beyond this post and I don't know why I began with this distracted paragraph. Its not what my mission was as I opened up blogger this morning. My REAL mission was this. I feel that I must pay respect to the windows in my office before we cover them with 6 footer plants, effectively making our office into some kind of tropical rainforest haven. These windows have been my only source of relief to the outside world for 8 hours a day. I get to people watch all day and get PAID for it. Here are the people I will miss:
Blonde-Mullet Man:
Your curly mulet and bouncy belly make me smile just because I know that there is a woman in the world who thinks you're a pure hunk of a man. I love to see you be it with your pony tail, your hair down and bouncy on your shoulders/back (mullets sometimes have a hard time reaching around the shoulders).
Soda-Pop Pal:
I will miss your eager waves and stumbles as you try to catch my attention. Nobody brightens my day like you do with your eager to please grins.
Tall Tanya:
I don't know if this is her real name..I really want it to be though. She's about 6'7 on flats and about 9'0 on her heels. She's straight out of a fairy tale book...she's light on her feet like a ballerina yet she sweeps the ceiling with her hair when she flounces down my hall. She's an exception to all things in nature I think.
The Couple Whose Hands Are Glued Together:
Its amazing to me the things you can do with one hand...Write something down while holding a pen your paper and a drink in your hand and your wife's hand in the other. This awesome OLD couple walk past my windows every day and I don't know how they came to work in the same building or if she just comes to her husbands work to hold his hand all day. They never release each other. No matter what else needs grabbing or doing somehow they'll find a way of doing it one handed. They're an inspiration.
Blind Spot Victims:
Our office has two entrances. Both are luckily visible to me, and both happen to have swinging doors that impede hall traffic. This MEANS! That when anybody comes out of those doors (especially Tom Dischmann who walks everywhere like the building is on fire) and walks with a purpose somebody ALWAYS almost gets whacked in the face by those doors...or somebody always almost runs into someone out there and the reactions are generally worth a laugh.
Mail Lady:
I wont' really miss you, it bugs me that you won't bring my mail to me anymore so I'm boycotting you to the public.
I guess I'll have to settle now for the rainforest look...but I will miss my own personal fish bowl to the outside world.

This Question is Rarely Sincere People!!

Its widely known that I greet people as part of my job. Part of that greeting generally tends to include the question "How are you doing today?" or something along those lines varying little. Anyway....The general response to that question is and should always be "Fine" "I'm great!" "Can't Complain" "Not Too Bad" "Never Better" or something generic like that. When someone asks you how you are and that person is someone other than your friends/family/loved ones....they rarely are really asking wanting to know truthfully and exactly just how you are and who has been rude to you and what has gone wrong in your day thus far. They don't have time to console generally which is why the generic "I'm just great" suffices. I have had THREE people respond to me in these ways today:
Response 1:
"I'd be better if you'd buy me a winning lottery ticket...I can't believe how much money I don't have!"
My Response: "As soon as I find one of those I'll let you know my day would brighten with one of those little guys as well so chin up."
Response 2: "It could be better if I wasn't so #$!@ cold and @$!@ tired but thank you for asking."
My Response: "Mmmm one of those huh? Great who can I get for ya?"
Response 3: "Not so good actually I just got pulled over it was just the worse......bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla..........(10 minutes later) and I just couldn't believe it!"
My Response: .....(My phones are ringing does this lady not hear that why won't she stop talking so I can do my job??! I want to be her theraputic outlet but these calls must be RECEIVED!!!) "Oh my gosh thats THE WORST! Who can I get for you??"

Stick with generic people, unless you can tell someone really cares to know.

Engaged and Underage!

I felt that I owed it to myself....and my posterity as I will be using this blog as a journal of sorts in the years to come (As previously stated in an earlier post) to more fully document the day I got engaged to Spencer Wall. Thats right ladies he's off the market so hands off! I know it'll be hard but control yourselves...I survived a Mexican Nightmare I can do damage. (I survived a Mexican Nightmare should maybe be a new reality show MTV just saying..) Anyway! We got engaged Monday night, we traversed up Farmington Canyon had a delicious picnic on the top of the mountain...and then came the fun part....the whispering of sweet nothings and dear comments about the feelings and the love and the reasons for why he wanted me to be off the market along with himself...united as the Walls forever and for always, and then he hopped up on his knee and he made it rain sunshine and cupid arrows. It was awesome. I'm pretty sure I said yes...since I'm wearing my ring...but honestly after his sweet speech I can't remember much but how excited I was. We are getting married in 3 months and I feel like it will never come as everything seems to have been planned for us! We kind of just get to sit back and enjoy the wedding wagon ride. So near ones and dear ones I am going to soon be Mrs. Jenny Wall and if you don't get an invite to our wedding know that I wanted you there in spirit...or maybe your invitation got lost in translation :) Bon Voyage!

Lesson Learned

Alright kids fourth and final phase of "Stuck in Limbo" coming right up. So lets see ... we left off with gang fights and thefts right? Right. So anyway thank heaven for the $25 a minute collect calls! I think I sufficiently racked up about a $300 phone bill for Mamma and Papa Payne. Its ok it was all done in the name of safety. So anyway the collect calls rolled into Utah, making it quite plain that we had had it with Cancun and what it had to offer. We began our search for an earlier flight out, and earlier bus ride out, earlier anything out. Unfortunately for us Lomas Travel had a bone to pick with us....Earlier in the week we had booked a tour on our own and NOT through Lomas depriving them of the "commission we live off". I didn't feel bad, not at all, but this little misfortune made them a little reluctant to so much as lift a finger for us. We had wronged them...so they would let us rot in this hotel for all they cared. Nobody was too very helpful in assisting us to get an earlier flight to say the least, and so we resigned to the fact that we were stuck and we'd best make the best of it by baracading our door at night and maybe popping a few loratabs to make the last two nights and three days go by faster, and less painfully. Then I got a miracle phone call on the hot wet afternoon of Thursday. "Jenny, this is Mark Faldmo (my ex-bishop and Pres. or something of Columbus Travel my hellcation booker) I have your Mom on the line 'Hi honey!' and we're calling to tell you that you have a reservation waiting for you in the CasaMagna Marriot down the road. Go down to Lomas Travel and ask them to assist you in checking out and getting a taxi and everything else is all taken care of." I wept. Ok I didn't but I wanted to. So we packed up our belongings and we marched down to the Lomas punks told them we were out! We have the safety of an American owned Marriot to get to! So I politely told them that all we needed from them at this time was their assistance in checking out and hailing a taxi..."You do it." ..."pardon me???" was my response.."You go do it, its easy" These people were kidding me right? They REFUSED to help us. No matter something as petty as refusal to cooporate wasn't going to hold me back from getting to the Marriot where they had wash cloths and soap waiting for us! We checked out after a process of "pardon me's?" and "I'm sorry What's?" and as Taxi hailing was beyond our expertise ......we, myself and my dear friend Cassidy walked....from the Cancun Oasis down 4 or 5 hotels to our sanctuary, the Casa Magna. My head nearly got taken off five times on the way there as we were walking on main street Cancun and every bus that passed by at 100 mph seemed to he aiming right for my head. But no matter, I was headed to paradise. When we walked into the lobby I think I really did shed a tear or two as we walked into a beautiful air conditioned chandalier lit lobby, and the check in staff spoke FLAWLESS english. Safety was finally ours....and for the last two nights of our vacation wes lept soundly, in the paradise we had planned on the entire time. The End.

Moral of the Story: Never book a vacation without checking hotel reviews! Don't just assume your trustworthy and loyal agent will send you to the best of the best. Never go to Cancun with just you and your dear friend, take MEN with you! Never settle for the worst when the best is just a collect phone call away.

Could Things Get Any Worse?

They certainly could get worse folks. After our gang fight Cassidy and I were sure we weren't going to make it out of Mexico unharmed...we knew we weren't that lucky. Curse John Potter for sending us to this tropical hell!! The next day we stayed in our room mostly...fearing to step from its safe walls. Finally we could deny the heat pangs no longer (don't forget....not air conditioned kids! That's for the snooty people) so we headed to the pool vowing only to be gone for about an hour. As I had just gotten off the phone with my mother I tossed our only line of hope to the real world back to Cassidy and we left the rojo telephono on the bed as we headed out to catch a couple rays before permanently situating ourselves back in our room for the evening. We returned to our room one and a half hours later to find our beds made nicely (made, but certainly not with new linens...again, thats for the high class people) and mysteriously...bags moved from where we had placed them upon us leaving for the pool. As we pondered on that we came to another discovery...rojo telephono was missing, and probably in use by either a member of the sneaky hotel staff or a fellow vacationer who happened to stroll into our room...anyone was welcome really its not like we had locks. Our hope deflated like a balloon being squashed by a fat kid. We saw no light in the situation, all we knew was Cancun had had its way with us and we wanted out. We called our families collect and informed them of all the misfortunes not sparing any details for their concern, and we had some flamed up parents and significant others. Action had to be taken, we could stay in this prison no longer...someone had to make something happen. Little did we know that life in Cancun as we knew it...was about to change.

Open Up A Can....Or Pray For Safety?

Phase two of the tales of Cancun goes something like this. After a nice long day of touring Chichen Itza and Tulum Cassidy and I went to dinner (ate as much of the trash as we could stand guaranteeing a long night on the toilet) and headed up to the "safety" of our room around ....7:30 a usual time to be tucked away for the night. We thought to ourselves, we have got a good nights sleep ahead of us hopefully since we're so tired from tour'n we won't hear the blaring rap that comes on around midnight to 3 AM, hopefully we'll saw those logs riiight through all that noise. We were hopeful. So we turned out the lights around 9:30 and prepared to get some shut eye. Joke was on us. 12:00 rolls around and we hear a crash and yelling....angry angry yelling of plenty of spanish words and the one english word those savages knew..the F-mak-daddy word. So I'm pissed at this point, I've been woken up in the middle of the night from my well deserved sleep one to many times on this trip and I'd HAD IT! So I jump outta bed in my victoria secret sweat shirt and underwear, prepared to "make it rain" ...."open a can"...."bust it wide open" on whoever the morons outside our room were. Shut up shut up!!!! I scream at the door as I storm over to it hand on the knob I pause...for just the smallest moment and think hey maybe you should take a sneak peak out the door to see what is goin down before ou raid out in your panties and sweat shirt...maybe put some pants on? No too hot. So I peak out the hole and I see a GANG fight including 4 angry drunk Mexicans and one man in his underwear and a girl, she kinda just sat there don't know how she played into it, and one more guy half naked. "Cassidy get over here you have to see this!" I yelled, I could yell and they wouldn't hear me because of all the nosie they were making! So after my careful assessment of the situation I decided my time would be best served on my bed cowering and praying for safety. We called Spencer and Cass' squeeze Der'Bear to tell them the tales. Concerned is not even strong enough for how they felt... Spencer immediately called my mother the following morning demanding that they locate my hotel (as in the middle of our conversation I lost connection on the cell phone..can you say bad timing?) because he was so worried and so mom got on it and.....you'll get phase three TOMORROW! Interesting Side Note: I am engaged to Spencer Wall as of August 25, 2008. Raise da-roof! This is the thrilling news I've been waiting to put on display until I had my blizblang on my hand but now that I have it I go public....November 26th (plenty for me to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!) all those near and dear ones shall celebrate our blessed union! All those except my brousin (bother/cousin) Trent...who is on his mission and may take a few years to forgive me for doing this without him! To Err.....is human ... to forgive Diving T.. don't forget it.

Ford Dealership!!?......Number Four??

Ladies and Gentlemen...I have returned. As far as I'm concerned I wouldn't shed a tear if God sent a tsunami to Cancun and wiped out the entire land...we'd be better off in fact. Allow me to share my reasons for such a statement. There will be a stream of posts on this subject ... Four to be exact yes I've planned them out in advance and already come up with attention grabbing titles. The first in a long line of stories shall be this one. We should have known our tripped was doomed from the start when as we were flying into the Denver Airport our plane was struck by lightening...."Wooo! That was fun!" Said the Pilot...and by the looks of all the passengers on board he was the only one who felt that way. So our journey continued and as we got to Cancun we were delighted to find things rolling along smoothly our travel arrangements made we hopped into a van and headed off to our Paradise the Oasis Cancun. We pulled into the hotel, spirits high and checked in with the assistance of a Lomas Travel representative (had to have assistance as nobody really spoke English) So we get all checked in and they hand us our keys (literal metal keys) we walk into our room and find we will be spending our week in a jail cell. There is no lock on our hotel room door...simple push lock which means a credit card trick is all it takes and any unwelcome visitor may enter. Our bathroom door ..didn't really function as a door, our Two luxurious double beds shoved together to form one giant mess...sheets with blood stains and surely seeman, air conditioning not a comfort to be counted on...and did I mention NO LOCKS ON OUR DOORS. Complementary wash clothes and body soaps also where way out of our league in this hotel. We thought to ourselves...ok... so we're roughing it in Cancun basically camping thats fine. Our spirits were still rather high. That night we headed into a gourmet restaraunt expectations high, only to be DASHED when they served me fish intrails for my "fish fillet" dinner. I knew from that moment on we were probably going to starve to death that week. Sunday dawns bright and early and Cassidy and I head out to the streets hop on a bus headed for church. We had these directions to follow "Directly behind the Ford Dealership just tell the bus driver and he'll know where to take you." So we hop on and slowly and clearly state "Ford Dealership!?"..."Ok Ford Dealership...downtown." Great we've been understood so we sit down thinking we're home free. 30 minutes later I still see no Ford Dealership but I sure see a whole lot of grafitie and trash and sketchy allies and scary people....The bus driver stops "Flea Market." I start laughing "Great chico thanks take us to the FORD DEALERSIHP."....Too much to ask for. "No, this is my stop you get off." so after fighting with the bus driver for ten minutes we were kicked off the bus in the middle of the ghetto of Cancun. We walked into every "safe" looking store we could find "hable ENGLISH???" No no no no...no English to be found. I spot a Burger King! Somebody HAS to speak english in there so we head in fingers crossed and walk up to the counter where I say..... "Hi, (big smile) Ford Dealership??" ....turns around and points at the menu..."Number Four??" awesome. "Alright no thanks." So we head out dejected and scared out of our minds...well never get out. TWO HOURS LATER We finally find a main road where we THROW ourselves in front of the first bus we see practically kiss the driver and tell him to PLEASE take us to the Oasis Cancun! We made it back safely ... though not without emotional scarring. We were so exhausted from the day that all we wanted was a good meal and some sleep..neither of which we would have....the remainder of the trip. The only thing on the menu? Diarrhea.

Forgive My Silence

I have gotten some hate mail. More like Hate Texts and Hate Instant Messages because I have been neglecting my blog for so long. There is a perfectly good reason for this and if I told you I'd have to kill you all. Rest assured an explanation is coming your way, and you will be overjoyed in the next coming weeks because this blog is about to get kicked up a notch. Many events have taken place in the last two weeks and if you know what events you HOLD YOUR TONGUE because its still undercover until further notice. One change I have thought of that I may share and take feed back on is this. After much thought, consideration, and prompting from others I have decided that journalism is my calling in life. I will finish a degree from BYU in Journalism in the coming years and perhaps write some sort of book, take my words to a magazine or some interesting way to contribute to the betterment of society. How does everyone feel? Feel free to hop on the Journalism with Jenny bandwagon, I'll need the support. I also finished the 4th book in Stephenie Meyer's series and I WASN'T disappointed. She's no J.K. Rowling but she's on her way up. Speaking of J.K.....I don't know who is aware but they have moved the 6th movie back to premier in July of 2009. I don't feel great about it if I'm being honest as I read the article my heart rate accelerated (and not out of excitement) and my hands balled up into fists. Its fine though... If thats how they want to play it fine. It gives me that much more time to read the entire series again....twice. Oops I typed it out loud. I am not ashamed that I'm a book nerd. Now I will go back to work and finish eating my cream cheese muffin (sorry swim suit bod) I don't regret it, I embrace the muffin...embrace it all the way to my waiting salivating mouth. Until we meet again bloggers and a BON VOYAGE to myself and Cass. Cancun here we COME!

James You do Seduce Me

Last night Spencer and I had a rockin date to James Taylor...the man....the legend. As we sent our blankets down early with the Wendler family we were in no rush to get there and so we pulled up at eight o'clock on the dot and forged or way through the throng of fans...one of which Spence and I caught shovin some of "Grandpa's Cough Medecine" down his pants....because of course thats where its safest. If you don't know what I speak of bless you I mean the one and only "Jack Daniels". James Taylor isn't complete without a little bit of a Jack Buzz. James Taylor also isn't complete without a little Marijuana, and as we lay 'neath the sky on the open lawns of Usana we weren't disappointed as the scent of people baking themselves reached our waiting noses. Aaahh the simple life. I sense that James had a taste of the simple life back in the day as the dear man couldn't quite get his words out right....slurring and blurring and stuttering here and there, all signs of a life lived in the moment, good on ya James thats what the stuff of life is made of. Anyway the crowds were great, people watching was at its peak and the music couldn't have been better...Neither could James' jokes those were of course top notch. My one let down? He didn't sing "Our Town", but stuck to his oldies but goodies. By the end of the night the crowd was on their feet swaying to the rythm of their hearts....or the rythm of the Marijuana, and that included Spence and I. He was wheeling me around doing intricate spins and dips and exposing just how horrible of a dancer I really was unless we were bumping to a beat of some kind...I apparently have two left feet....one of those left feet landed smack in a dish of Nacho Cheese and after Spencers refusal to lick it off I decided the next best solution would be to wipe and slide it on the grass...needless to say for many reasons I took a nice COLD shower when I got home. Cold because of course the one time that I have to be home by myself something like the water heater fails. I wish I had the desire to do something about it but Daddy Gary will hop on that soon enough. I digress...In conclusion James Taylor didn't disappoint and I left happy, be it from the music or from the bake fumes it matters not.

Queen of Stupid

Who is the Queen of Stupid you ask? Me. You may refer to me now as Your Highness. American Idol auditions dawned bright and early yesterday. I found myself in line at 5 am....in line and asleep on the side walk. I felt like a homeless person really, and I decided I could hack that for a day maybe but no longer. So anyway there I slept on the sidewalk with freaks of all shapes and sizes surrounding me. At one point Justin Guarinni (Season 1 runner up to Kelly Clarkson) Was within spitting distance and spit on him is about the only thing I wanted to do....I wasn't impressed by him. Anyway at about 7:30 they started herding the crowd into the Arena .... Energy Solutions Arena to be exact. So we file in, take our seats and film some crowd segments. I'm feeling like a star on the rise at this point with my two sisters sitting next to me and a sweet girl sitting on my other side....I'm comfortable I'm excited and I'm just ready for the experience. How it roll'd out was it took about an hour per section of people to audition and as we were about 5 sections in we sat and waited and waited...in this time we were able to get a pretty good handle on the audtion. There are 11 booths set up with two judges per booth and the auditionees line up at these tables in groups of 4.... now when somebody would be aseked to step forward more then once they were generally a shoe in. Keep this in mind. So we continue to watch auditions...watch as the sections before us slowly disappear and before you know it yours truly was up. We head down, palms sweating...bladder about exploding and I get in my line of 4. I sing my first song...goes off without a hitch I'm feeling good the judges are nodding and smiling (something any auditionee wants to see happen) and I'm feeling just peachy about it, my elation only goes up when they say to me....will you step forward again and sing another song? I'm thinking...hop on board folks this musical express is leaving the station out the WINNERS exit! So I step forward and Judge #1 says: "Will you sing something contemporary/pop something really upbeat?" Sure! .....................................TWO MINUTES later...I'm still standing there and NOTHING is coming to my mind...I'm just staring at the judges ....slowly inserting my foot into my mouth. Finally I start laughing as I realize that for the last 2 minutes the whole blasted arena basically is staring at me waiting and waitng while my mind is blank....I got nothing. So the judges start laughing and they start naming some artists to throw me a bone...and still nothing. I got no words no nothing I have titles coming out my ears but absolutely no lyrics. Juge #2: "Oook how about anything from Christina Aguliera??" ....ok I know her songs I know em all! Give me words music gods come ON! The ONLY song lyrics that came to my mind went something like this: "If you wanna be with me....baby there's a price to pay.... I'm a Geanie in a bottle....You gotta rub me the right way." And as that was the ONLY sentence I could string together I sang that line over.....and over.....and over...until the laughing judges held up their hands to halt the musical express that had lit on fire and was about to blow up. My train took a turn for the worst in seconds and I laughed in defeat. I knew I had just guranteed myself a walk out the Losers Exit. I stepped back and everyone knew I had blown it in a way that nobody could have imagined. It was awesome. So thanks for the experience, I never want to hear that stupid song again.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

As we all know I love my job. Its been a good job somewhat like....a favorite pet. You love that pet so much and somehow you convince yourself into believing this awesome pet is NEVER going to die....its too awesome to be normal and max out...nope this pet will live forever. Well your pet WON'T live forever and neither will my job. As of 8:20 AM this morning I had to give my notice to a job that I looked forward to every morning. How did this travesty come about you ask? Well I actually had the SWEETEST job offer from my company to go be the receptionist in our Provo office, bells rang angels sang and I couldn't have been more excited. Then yesterday a dung bomb got dropped in my grill when my boss told me "Hey sorry nobody told you sooner but if you want the job in Provo you'll have to start Friday." As the shock slowly settled in I saw my options.
Option 1.
Start commuting to Provo for the next month....bend over and take it basically from the gas pump.
Option 2.
Move to Provo....this weekend and take the job.
Option 3.
Pass on the job in Provo and keep this job and give my notice, my last day being August 15th, and pursue employment in Provo when I get there in August.
Option 4.
Pass on the job in Provo and keep this job through the school year and make this commute for the next year...PASS for many reasons...I can't do that and get to class on time and my pocket book would take a serious hit with the gas prices.
I chose option 3, and effectively resigned this morning for August 15th. Its been a whirlwind the last few days and I suppose panic mode is called for but I shall internally deal! Destructive or not I will control the jobless panic! I am not quite sure if it'll be workin the corners...waiting tables...or working in an office that will help me get from rent payment to rent payment but I see light at the end of the abyss, and somehow something will work out. If any of you readers have a job for me in Provo give your boo a hollar! I'm effectively searching as of NOW. May the employment gods be with me.

Dream....or Vision??

Last night I had either a very vivid dream or I had a premonition/vision. My company was staying at a beautiful resort in what I thought was Cancun but when I stepped outside the hotel I quickly realized that we were staying in BEAUTIFUL Santorini Greece! I was laying out and minding my own business and I was on my way back to my room to take care of a responsibility that I'd forgotten about and when I arrived back in my room......my baby daughter was laying in her crib howling in hunger. BABY DAUGHTER??? Whaaat?? This dream kind of goes back to the time I thought I had reproduced A-Sexually and had a miscarriage in the Clearfield Texaco. In the dream I was pretty sure I hadn't dropped my values so this little baby girl (who by the way was just beautiful) must have been a product of just me. This leads me to conclude once again that perhaps if I think hard enough I can make myself pregnant. Anyway the whole trip I just couldn't seperate myself from my daughter (after I had remembered that I had her of course...) and everyone I ran into from the office was like "whoooa!! what?? when did you birth this little lady?!" And I guess my response was like "well......it looks like about 3 or 4 months ago..." Anyway we got to take our spouse/guest with us on this trip and I took my friend Jill and she apparently already knew about my daughter and so it wasn't so shocking to her and anytime baby J wasn't with me she was with her Auntie Jill. So we toured around the beautiful island of Santorini with me, Jill and little baby J. I woke up and I had this feeling that this could mean two things....I was having a premonition about the things to come or....it was just a very real dream. If it is the first I have just one question to ask the Corporate offices.....Are you guys sending us to Santorini in the near future?!! Because if you are I need to find out ASAP if my body is like the dinosaurs and doesn't need a man to reproduce, or if I need to find me a husband lickity-split...I'll do whatever it takes to get to Santorini!

Also this morning Casey told me that last night she had a very vivid dream that I was getting married last night, perhaps our premonitions go hand in hand. We're like modern day yoda maybe.

3 in 1

The title of this blog is confusing so let me explain. This is going to be a long guy post so assume a comfortable position before reading. Today's title is a simple taste of what is to come...because this post is going to include three separate anecdotes if you will that all deserve their own titles. It would be a dis-service for me to just throw it all under one title and the fun of my blog experience is all in my title so sue me for getting selfish.

THE MELTING VAN

This past weekend I went camping up in Flaming Gorge (not in the lake just near.) Friday night we packed up Moby Dick (night because I have a full time job and all the less responsible people went up at 1, so all us working class kids had to take the Big White Whale or Moby Dick as she is more commonly referred to as up after our work days closed. Moby Dick is my white van with a SPOILER, it makes it more manly for my Dad.) Anyway, Casey and Cassidy picked me up from work in Moby and we headed to Provo to pick up the other 4 unknowns that had to work through the day and needed the night shift bus up to the camp site. I knew it was going to be a good ride when I realized the van ride would consist of....3 white girls, 3 Mexicans and a Chilean. Melting Van. I was introduced to more spanish in that brief van ride than ever before in my life. A story would start out in English and in the heat of the moment would soon turn into rapid spanish that of course none of the white girls could follow! So we had them teach us some key phrases....key insults...key swear words and we continued on our journey of learning really. At one point we went to turn on the office (who doesn't love The Office right?) Gabe doesn't love the office....he kindly let us know that "the office is white humor...it makes no sense to me" I had no idea there were different races of humor. These guys were possibly the funniest people I've ever been introduced to...quick whits and punny comments filled our 4 hour trip and made the time just fly...(not fly over 75 though because Moby gets shakey if you push her too hard.) On the ride back home Carlos thought it'd be a good idea to play 20 questions...(rules being of course no Spanish words race friendly please.) 20 questions soon turned into 120 questions as each time someone guessed correctly it was their turn to take charge and think of an object person or place...so six rounds of 20 questions took up a good chunk of our ride home after which my brain and back were hurting so sufficiently that I wasn't sad to pull into the Payne drive-way and bid Moby farewell for a season. I gained a lot of culture this past weekend and not just our van but our camping trip was a melting pot of fun, learning, and loving.

AND THEN THERE WERE 15

Our total numbers on the camping trip came to a whopping 16. We were spread out over two camp sites and it just so happened that my tent was lovingly referred to as "the mansion" (named by myself) because it was the biggest tent known to man kind perhaps including a small doggy door for the campers pleasure. We were fortunate enough to be in Bear Country, and the care free trip quickly took a turn for the most dangerous and panicky with my sister at the helm of things. Nobody is more paranoid of bears then sister Ry. You give her a bear warning and she'll think up any possible way a bear could sniff her out and dis-member her. Thanks to Ranger Ruth patrolling the camp site and warning fellow campers that "You MUST all put your food tightly away at night as there have been 6 bear sitings in the last little while (little while perhaps meaning in the last 2 years or 2 weeks it was never specified) and they will sniff you out." This set Ry in a panic and so everywhere she went she had to be accompanied by a fellow camper and her Bear Whistle and Mace hanging around her neck. She slept with her bear whistle clutched in her fist and her bear mace at the ready, she never shut her eyes our first night which was apparent when we woke up in the morning to her fretful confused state, even though she was thrilled to have made it through the night. (she decided to load up on sleeping pills for night 2 of the camp out bear or no bear.) We thought we were home free as nobody had been pulled from their tents in the night and hoped that this would caml her and all the other Bear Scared campers. It only got worse Saturday night when Ranger Ruth came around again to announce "BEAR WITHIN A HALF MILE BEAR WITHIN A HALF MILE". Thanks Ranger. Ryann quickly emptied her tent and pulled the seats out of Moby and set up camp for the remainder of the night in the safe metal frames of the van. She wasn't the only camper who abandoned ship. 4 others followed suit in her frenzied panic, but the rest of us remained calm. Nobody would have been harmed anyway as I had previously sufficiently coated my body in Graham Cracker dust, (I had been rolling around in it earlier of course to better capture the s'more experience) I was one giant treat for those bears and all that needs to happen is for one person to fall behind and all the others will have a clear path to safety. I was bear bait so the others should have felt completely safe...what bear wants a regular human for dinner when it can have a graham covered one? No bear.

ROW! ROW! ROW!

Our camping trip was almost ruined when the raft renters told us they were out of rafts. Todd left his cell phone with them and put our name on a reservation list (4th in line) and we decided to go down the the Lake and waste some time. En-route to the lake we made a scenic pit stop at the bridge into Flaming Gorge and found a gold mine of cliff jumping neath its steel frame. 35 feet up and safe as kittens that jump was and we all bevied up to the cliff's edge and prepared to toss ourselves into the greeny waters below. I took off my bandana and sun glasses and prepared to take the plunge. It was thrilling and also shocking how long it took until my flailing body actually broke the water. After two hours of cliff jumping and a brief lunch break the Raft Renters called and told us they had rafts for us so we headed over, picked up our rafts, and took it to the river. Things went smoothly on the river and as we passed the boats full of families and friends you could hear phrases such as "row! row! row!" or "Left, Right, Left!" all said in unison on the boats. I took a brief moment to announce to everyone in my raft if they asked me to chant river jargine in unison with them someone would get a swift oar to the face. Speaking of oar to the face...Sweet Cassidy seemed to be a magnet to anything deadly and large this whole trip and as a GIANT golf ball sized bee landed on the back of her life vest Ry quickly YELLED at her "DON'T FREAK OUT, AND DON'T MOVE!" as she raised her OAR and prepared to knock the bee off Cassidy's back. As she was winding up someone thankfully grabbed the oar from her grasps and she realized that a simple swat would do for the bee rather then a back cracking oar slap. Caution is best though Ry so thanks for the concern.
All in all the trip was more of a success then we all could have hoped for. Aside from Cassidy's face swelling up like Quazie, (she looked kinda like she was storing nuts for winter in her right cheek) nobody receieved any injuries. Don't worry it was only an abscesed tooth and she took care of it the moment we got back to civilization. So thank you to nature, to flaming gorge and to Moby Dick for providing us with a good weekend.

The Many Uses of Blanket

I have found that there are many reasons you may find yourself in need of a blanket. There are of course the general things that you can be grateful for a blanket for...Like when you lay in your bed underneath one....when you're laying underneath one on your couch...with a fellow blanket sharer (ie: cuddle partner) Blankets are always best in this circumstance....more privacy. Anyway I found myself in need of a blanket last night as I was going to a Bees game and my date was fortunate enough that I find it necessary to carry one in my car at ALL TIMES. You never know when you're going to break down in the middle of nowhere, you could end up using it for survival. So we throw open Carolla's trunk and not one, not two, but THREE blankets and a PILLOW are in my trunk. I was taken immediately back to the night that I'd used all three of those blankets: Another use for the blanket...Backyard Movie Night. Fowlers have a back yard movie night every year anad its a big deal. People come from all over the world (or just davis and utah county) to spread out their best blankets on the many tarps delicately laid out in front of a large screen and projector! There is nothing better then watching a a movie under the stars...something we couldn't do without a BLANKET. Nobody wants to lay on the grass where you could have little bugs crawling up places they should not be. Its the same for the Bees game..you never know whats in that grass its best to take a blanket. (especially when you're the only loser at the baseball game in a dress....major party foul on my part) This was somewhat of a random post today but I was just feeling grateful for the blanket....and I wanted everyone to hop on the wagon with me. The picture on this post is appropriate because its of Jill and I at Backyard Movie Night. Next weeks post has promise as I'm sure it'll have something to do with camping with my sister which means whining, bear attack scare, peeing in nature, and over protective river rules. Bring it on Green River gimmie what you got!

My Favorite Things part 2

There are a few things I want to add to my favorite things list and I thought rather then go down and add I may as well make it new and fresh. This may be brief but these new items are all cataclysmic in importance. I'd like to arrange them a little more precisely this time however.
My Favorite Things To Do At Work: (besides my job :))
*Streaming!: I love to stream...stream all day long like a flowing river of fun. Things I love to stream include many series off of ABC, Legally Blond search for Elle Woods from MTV, and most recently Listen Live from my 3 favorite stations. Nothing moves the work day faster than Radio from Hell, The Z Morning Zoog, or The Mix.
*Purchase: I love to buy more things I don't need (refer to 'Mo' Money Mo' Problems'). These things can come in many varieties....make up...clothing...shoes...swim wear. As of late my obsession has been Swim Wear as my trip to Cancun looms in the near future. I purchased yet another suit from my retailer of choice....Victoria's Secret. Victoria is having a sale right now don't judge me.
*Read: the latest books I have partaken of have included Stephenie Meyer's series including her new release The Host, the Harry Potter series (4th time and not ashamed), the collected works of John Grisham, and Lovely Bones. I also love to read TMZ (latest and accurate I'm sure celebrity gossip), and people.com. These things never disappoint and never fail to make the work hours soar.
*Email/Chit Chat: I love to keep up with all the hot gossip around the office. It keeps our work environment alive and kicking. Its lucky the people I work with vary in a wide variety of personalities, and general appearance. As stated previously it keeps work interesting.
My Favorite Things Outside of Work:
*Bees Games: I love me a good Bees Game. Mostly because I love the flavor of the baseball crowd in SLC. Its so great whether you're sitting amongst families and their youngsters on the grass, or if you're in the stands witht he die-hard fans eating their peanuts and swiggin their beer, forcing you off your butt and onto your feet for the 7th inning when we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game". Bees spirit is contageous.
*The Heat: I know this may be confusing to some but I do love this heat wave we're experiencing for a couple of reasons. I love the bronzed color its giving my skin and the impulse I get from it to jump into the pool to cool off. I also love that running time gets cut in half because I'm sweating doubly bad due to the extreme temps! I am convinced I'm getting as hard of a work out as before when the length of runs were doubled...its too hot to pretend longer then I have to that I ever enjoy running. ( I don't know if I believe that anybody just "LIVES TO RUN!")
*Sleeping: Unlike most people I can't take naps because that cuts out on my sleep time at night, which is VERY important to me. This also means that I am not a "night-owl" I turn in earlier then most sue me. I have but one greivance to list in this positive post: Dad I don't appreciate it when my sleeping is disturbed deep into the night by sweltering temps. Nightime is when I don't enjoy the heat....I need arctic at night so I can pile the blanekts deep and high around me. Lately my Dad has been going green and turning off the Air Conditioner. I want to go back to black and crank that sucker up! I can't sleep if I have to consentrate on whiping the sweat off my body ever fifteen minutes, not even lying under the covers! Lets get real here Pappa Payne.
Bon Voyage folks.

Hurricane Meyer

What kind of blog doctor am I if I don't even write about the storm thats sweeping the nation. I have no business owning this blog if I don't get at least one post on here about Stephenie Meyer and the storm she has unleashed with her imagination. This blizzard of wordage came in its first form in her Slam-Dunk of a novel series TWILIGHT. As the rest of the female world and I delved into this thrilling series we all found ourselves captivated by Edwards beautiful body, his milky white skin you want to pour on your morning cereal, his deep caramel eyes you want to dump all over a fresh apple, and his rock hard but smooth as honey lips that we all wanted to get a piece of. (there are few out there who will claim they were opposed to this book, my mother included but its ok she's a nurse and so she takes things too literally pay it no mind.) Anyway back to the task at hand...This book has brought passion (in a clean and wholesome way of course) to women everywhere. I've been waited for Oprah to add it to her favorite things its bound to happen soon...she can't hold out much longer before she is swept into this epic love story. Stephenie has managed to capture the sultry and passionate relationship that every girl secretly craves but finds so far out of their reach...that of perfection and absolute acceptance. Edward and Bella love each other with sweet abandon, and they are SOUL mates. As I read this book I kept thinking to myself...who is this Edward? Is he a fictional character or is he someone that hits home to all women everywhere?? I figured out that my answer was the latter...which explains the uproar of fans this series has gathered. Edward is a million men to a million women and reading this book gives women a brand new passion to find him or if they have him to appreciate him all the more!! As I understand it all the married women who read this have a whole new-found appreciation for lovin...especially when they get to book 3....last chapters. So chicks out there if you haven't read it...buckle up...grab some popcorn and orange juice and dive in for the ride of your life! Stephenie Meyer you have arrived. The world can rest assured that she isn't a one hit wonder as I've just finished reading the Host. Captivating, moving, kept me on the edge of my bed where I was reading it until 3 AM. Vampires, Aliens...whats next??

God Bless America...Land That I love

I thought that this is as appropriate a time as ever to praise John Hancock and crew along with all the old Prez of the country for their hard work and dedication to keeping America kicking and fighting and of course....battling obesity. I would like to revisit some previous 4th of July memories that I have, while also reflecting on the beauty of this free and precious nation. This 4th of July I will be celebrating in style at STADIUM OF FIIIRE. I'm so grateful for LaVell Edwards and his stadium that we get to light with fire every year. We're so lucky to live in a country where little teen stars like Miley Cyrus can be made to feel important (when really all she is is a talentless hussy that the disney channel boosted into stardom) its only too bad that fireworks scare her so bad she'll have to sit in her limo while they go off, she just hates all that loud noise and fire soooo scary! (I wish I could say I was assuming that to be true but I heard about it on the radio and radio Dj's never lie.) So anyway I'm grateful that we get to go to Provo 6 hours early so we can maybe get there in time to see the fireworks go off...and sing the national anthem and listen to "America the Beautiful" while I weep and get goose bumps all over my body. Last 4th of July I was with my on-again off-again boyfriend at the Kaysville fire works where we probably covertly made out under the fire work display and denied to our friends and family that we were back together again (me denying especially since I had that one boyfriend back in Provo that was always wanting to get married and cuddle while wearing his gun under his arm). Thanks for the freedom of love we enjoy in this great country. Don't take it for granted some people don't get to pick the people they make out with so count your lucky kisses. I also probabyl enjoyed the 4th of July Kaysville parade/ Kaysville waterfight. So awesome. Double Last 4th of July I was yachting with Uncle Dave and Daddy Gary and Ry and Cousin Trent on the Chesapeak, enjoying the firework display in no better place then smack dab next to the Naval Academy in Annapolis. Whats more American that watching the Navy hunks in the uniforms out paying tribute while the patriotic songs blared from somewhere on land and the fireworks exploaded overhead?! Nothing really. Thanks to America for the Navy Hotties and Uncle Daves yacht. Everybody celebrate the 4th in style this year. I love America and maybe nobody loves the current President you should still be glad to live here anyway in the home of the free land of the brave zone of the "eat great even late" or...."we love to see you smile" catchy lines from our very own american food places that keep this country rolling....rolling literally into the hospitals all over the nation on account of artery blockage and coronary failure...hey we're all going to die at some point might as well die eating the best fries in American (title currently held by McDonalds). God Bless America.

Arts Festival

There is nothing better than when the Arts Festival comes to town....Except maybe October Fest. I love heading into Salt Lake to partake of the hippie way of life, the first thing that greeted me after my ticket was purchased was a young man in a nice loose v-neck shirt and a multi-colored bandanna (Ti'Dye) tied nicely around his head just above his eyes which were covered by a nice pair of aviators. He also had a peace emblem hanging from his necklace. These are the kind of people I love the most. I like to refer to them as "Flower Children" believers in "Free Love".
They are what make the Art Festival worth visiting...Its not like the vast majoirty can afford so much as a pin from the many artist's booths unless you're willing to drop some serious green on something that may or may not break within the following hours, so mostly we the public go to stare, sometimse at the incredible art displayed sometimes at the incredible people displayed. I myself found pleasure in both forms of entertainment. I bought myself a ring that was made of delicately blown glass and was so "earthy" I loved it I had to have it so I whipped out my D' card (this was one of......well the only booth actually I found that accepted plastic) It shone in the sun like a rare stone found deep in the caves of Africa and I was thrilled to have it on my middle finger. Needless to say...it broke 3 hours later, but I fully intend on glueing that bad boy back into place, I'm not letting something as simple as a disconnected stone stop me from enjoying my Arts Festival purchase. Next stop...Farmers Market and NOT for the stupid produce they buy at Smiths and turn aroun dto sell to stupid people for 5 times the price.

Move Over Carmen There's a New Girl in Town!

As I was browsing through the internet today I thought I'd like to get on Fox 13 and see if I can watch a full episode of So You Think You Can Dance more commonly referred to by myself and my friends as SYTYCD! (it looks kind of like an abbreviation of a disease) Anyway there I was cruisin the world wide web when I see this: SALT LAKE CITY -- American Idol will hold auditions in Salt Lake City on Tuesday, July 29 at EnergySolutions Arena. Specific information on the Salt Lake City auditions has not yet been released. Check back soon for details on auditioning in Salt Lake City. So now the time comes for me to gather my posse. I can't believe its really here, I can't believe I intend on taking a day off of work for this. Ironically enough it falls on the ONE day my office asked us all not to request time off...seeing as it is the company golf tournament for clients and brokers and they need all hands on deck. I will have to have a serious private meeting with my boss. I wonder if AI will put me on TV if I tell them I'm getting fired for this. I was thinking also maybe I could have a quick word with Ryan Seacrest and just let him know I'm on a tight schedule so if I could go first it'd be a BIG help. So basically come rain or shine I'll be at the Energy Solutions Arena July 29th sweating, hyperventilating, possibly vomitting, and maybe crying. I look forward to it. Look out Carmen your days of stardom are OVER.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I had a wonderful date the other night to a BEES game and it was so refreshing! I love me some good quality baseball time. It felt so nice to kick back on the grass (general admission..way better than seats) throw on my shades and soak in the ball game while little kids rolled down the grass all around me and people threw down some beer. It has been far too long since I was at a Bees game and seeing as I love them so much it amazes me that I let it get so far behind on my priority list. It gives a girl time to think....what other things have I let fall behind on my list of things I must do. As I was at the game in the company of a wonderful date I was able to remember some items in life I refuse to miss out on. I have to go to Europe. I know that the French are supposedly anti-American and mean but I don't care, I have to experience the life style of Paris. I have to go to Italy and sail through Venice and spend way too much money on a dress in Milan. I also must be sure to go on an African Safari because I have to see what its like in real life to be near an un-caged lion. I have to walk on some beautiful beach in Australia and I definitely have to see Hawaii some day. I have to go to China and Japan some day and see how smart and inventive these people really are...seeing as 90% of everything I look at seems to have come from one of those locations. I want to go to Scottland and Ireland and Switzerland...basically an all around tour of Europe. I have to go to a NBA (abby so kindly pointed out to me that there is no such thing as NBA football games unless there was a new sport she was unaware of...but for kicks I'm not going to change it because I would call them NBA instead of NFL) Football game. This all means that I A: Have to marry someone who embraces my desire to travel the world at some point. B: Have kids young and get them raised and on with life in time for me to have plenty of travel time with the husband. C: I better be rollin some benji's. Its all extravagant I know but its on my list and I like to check things off lists. Bees game; check. Travel the World; NOT checked. Thank heavens I went to the Bees game I could have been 35 years old and forgotten that I promised myself I'd become a world traveler....kinda like Carmen SanDiego! So as I see it, I'll be attending a lot more baseball games again and who knows what other resolutions will come back to me...stay tuned.

Driving Under the Influence...of Exhaustion

I have always heard of stories of falling asleep at the wheel and I'll admit I've been a skeptic. How can someone seriously lose consciousness while driving a vehicle? I never bought into it I thought it was always just a lame excuse for driving like a tard. Well yesterday I got a dose of karma my friends. I was driving home from work and I noticed that by the time I hit 600 North I was fighting a losing battle with my vision blockers more commonly referred to as eye lids. I remember being behind a lovely white car, driven by a lovely woman and being quite a ways behind her, I "blinked" or so I thought I was doing but when I opened my eyes back up I was up in that ladies grill basically....I may as well have been in her trunk. I don't know how I didn't hit her it was a pure miracle. The worst part of it all was the look on this poor lady's face. You could tell she had pure terror in her mind as she thought the stupid fool behind her had fallen asleep at her wheel and was moments from plowing into her. I appologized profusely as best I could from my own car and after a few minutes of heart felt eye contact I think she finally decided I was to be pittied...since I hadn't hit her car. My adrenalin was pumping there was NO way that was happening again so I got off the free way and took to the back roads...safer less traffic more things to look at to occupy my mind, or so I thought. Two more times I went to "blink" and opened my eyes to either being moments from the curb or moments from a mail box. I think someone slipped me something at work..I have never experienced something like that before, that feeling where you literally can't keep your eyes open. My seat was FULLY errect in such an uncomfortable position I thought there was no way I could pull a dozer, AC blaring full blast hoping the freeze-out method might work, music blaring but nothing seemed to quench my exhaustion. It was totally terrifying so I finally called my mother and made her talk to me to keep me awake. DUI is dangerous kids and it doesn't always include ALCOHOL!

The Singles Ward (can be found under extreme sports)

In singles ward its survival of the fittest, or survival of the most talkative and loudest laugh. If you're laughing louder then other girls you are CLEARLY more fun than your competition and much more likely to be asked out on a date. Things you can do to ensure you get asked out: Make sure you wear super bright colors (mostly applicable in Provo Singles Wards) Layered shade T's of varying colors are a sure fire winner with the gentle-folk. Arm touching is necessary and required if you want to put the "vibe" out there, give him a good caress of the arm do so while smiling unnecessarily widely. Depending on the type of "husband" you want to attract you may want to make sure you ALWAYS have your religious books surrounding you on the bench and a hymn book open in your lap, including during a talk...leave the book open to the next song and you get bonus points. If you're early make sure you sit yourself in a position to be sat by on either side...this gives you a higher probability of scoring a date for the next weekend as whoever occupies your side seats will undoubtedly want to talk at some point in the meeting, shake your hand if its a first time bench side meeting, or ask for a back scratch if they're REALLY into you. WARNING if the bishop catches you scratching somebody's back during a meeting he will soon approach you and ask ONE of you if you're dating/engaged and if the answer is no you will promptly find yourself and the person whose back you were scratching being called to serve together on some committee. The Bishop of every singles ward has one goal in mind and one goal only...break down the singles ward one loving couple at a time. Now after you have procured a date with the human of your choice, to ensure a relationship with that person you must make sure you attend every activity that they will be at to make sure no other chicks are flocking your man...set your claims the only way to do this is to tail him at all the arranged flirting activities....ie: ward prayer more commonly referred to as "ward stare". I have forgotten a key ingredient to being noticed at the singles ward....perfume/cologne. Make sure its over powering enough to wipe out every other smell around you including other girls perfumes, you want yours noticed so as you can be the clear winner of the "wow that smells great what are you wearing" conversation that will inevitably lead to bliss and eternal marriage. Side Note: lotions usually work too but must be applied strategically as the scent is more of a instant impacator then a long lasting effector. So ladies and gents suit up and gear up because this is no game of candy land we're dealing with here....this is real life survivor and you do NOT want to be voted off the island because gaining status in a new singles ward takes TIME and you're love time clock is ticking. Get to work.

Blind Date...Enter at Your Own Risk

I have been on enough and have heard about enough blind dates to know that a good one, a true match is rare to come by. Blind dating should be looked as an extreme sport. You get to a certain point on the date where its basically winner takes all...one person takes all the conversation points, one person takes all the freak-of-nature points, one person takes all the pitty points. Its rarely an even-steven sort of thing. I have heard of a few successful cases, I have had a few myself. A couple of my cousin's have married blind dates and I can call that for what it is, a success. Now when it comes to all the fails, all the dates that last for 2 hours going on 12, I have decided there is a two way approach one can take. You can take the approach of "Please Heaven above let this boy/girl be getting tired enough to end this misery" or you can take the "this is going to be hilarious for me to think about for the next 3 months, lets drag this out as long as possible and give me plenty of good laughs!". As is life, we can make things easier or harder on ourselves simply by switching the old attitude switch. Make the best out of every situation right? There must be a silver lining to all things, and it takes a true champion to find it in such a situation. Its ok to be afraid of the unknown blind date...approach with caution but never surrender. Surrendering to a bogus blind date dooms you forever for all other blind dates because you're attitude is now and forever cancer. Let me be the one to say I hate bowling, but you better believe if someone takes me bowling I'm going to be so happy about it they'll want me on a league with them. Its all about the attitude my friends. Only a blind date would take me bowling too, if you know me you don't want to take me because you know you'll be embarrassed by my lack of coordination and skill, a blind date doesn't know this and will suffer for the lack of knowledge but my attitude will make it measurably easier. You can adopt this same if-so-fact-o stance. If you suck....so what...its a fact you're going to be bowling tonight....O well. You can apply this motto really to any thing you and your blind date will be doing for the evening...if they're lame...so what....its a fact you're on the date....O well. Make the best of a dreary situation and the sun shall shine on you. In the name of dating all around the world....the end.

MTV WE'RE OVER HERE!

My friends and I have always thought to ourselves that we should have a reality show on MTV. If Rob and Big, the Kardashians, Newly Weds and all that other garbage gets good ratings I swear we could blow the roof off MTV. It could have so much spice to it the titles I have thought of are as follows:
*Living Lavita UTAH
*Little Mormons in a Big World
*Live from SLC
*The Basin (you know like the Hills but the Great Basin?)
*Welcome to the Hive (since we're the BEEHIVE state.)
*The Real Life (not even close to the Real World)
*Unspoken Truths (ok not really this was the name of a band that some kids had at our Junior High and I just don't want it to die is all...)

So those are a few ideas for titling. Its not like I have ideas for script, action, story plot or anything like that becauase we are UNSCRIPTED. Which is why I think it could be a big hit. Film the real chicks, the girls who get up every morning and drive to work not at Teen Vogue or Cosmo but at every day jobs...receptionists we are Teen Voguers we're not. Film the girls who have real lives and more of the world will CONNECT with the show! As I was saying drop some REEL on the girls who work a full day come home at night and make some real memories that they REMEMBER the next day! We have plenty of drama in our lives to keep the show rolling and guessin! Love triangles that you'll feel like your part of yourself! We even have baby-mamma-drama, yes even here in Utah. The spice we can add is that hey the Mormons do know how to have fun, and clean and wholesome though we may be, we still are preeeetty awesome. We don't have to be drunk to be funny, it just comes natural. So MTV....do you wanna keep wasting money on those fools who you have to pay major bills to get them wasted to have a personality?? We're hip and happenin and we're ready whenever you are! So come and get in on some-o-this!

Snooze ya Looze

I woke up this morning feeling good, feeling mostly awake and not too overly upset that I had to get up, all in all a good start to the morning. I felt slightly hammered for some reason that I later remembered to be I had been awoken mid-sleep by a man lets call him Spencer since its his name...anyway I remembered being awoken by said person and followed soon to be awoken again by a Matt E. I was wondering if I was on some prank calling list that had been posted somewhere ... if that list exists I'd like it taken down because I suffered for these phone calls today while I was at work! That good feeling I had this morning slowly but surely got more and more groggy as the day wore on. I was eating my sugar free puddings to give me some fire, willing my body to stay alert. Why on earth am I so tired I keep thinking....I wish I could remember the conversations I'd had last night...where they long? Was my REM cycle disturbed for a long time, long enough to justify this hang over sensation?? 12:30 finally came and I found myself in the break room, enjoying a thick peanut butter and nothing sandwich, catching up on my Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I remember checking my phone after finishing my sammy and realized it was only 12:45, nice I had a good 45 minutes left to read. The next thing I remember was someone STOMPING into the kitchen and being BANGED awake by their racket. WHOA what time is it!! In my frazzeled state I knocked my cell phone off the table drawing unecessary attention to the fact that I had fallen asleep with my face smashed into the world of J.K. Rowling's imagination, I'm pretty sure I had print on my face...maybe a little druel. "Sorry did I wake you up??" - sweet innocent Team Manager asked me. Yeah you did wake me up and good on ya since my break was OVER! I rushed back up to the front desk still with that cute look of fresh sleep and confusion on my face I usually am in this state after catchin some Z's. I still have it on...maybe it'll be gone in 15 minutes thats about how long it takes me to shake sleep from my brains. So I guess...Good Morning and its great to be here at work.

The Great Out-Doors

When four girls find themselves with nothing to do on a Saturday night what do they usually do? Watch a movie, eat, sit and talk. Not us. We found ourselves in this situation this past weekend and we went against the wind and decided to go CAMPING. No that doesn't mean we had my dad set up a tent in my backyard and played games in the tent then slept on my couch. We went real camping, in nature, in a tent, with trees. (trees and a train but I'd like to leave the train aspect out of our camping that was weird and it took away from the nature experience.) So we packed up the Land Cruiser with a tent and sleepings bags and more blankets then the army use and we headed out. When we arrived at our camp site in Crystal Hot Springs we started unloading. "Ok girls whose got the lanters for us"-Cassidy yelled cheerfully....Silence. Silence because NOBODY had a lantern. We didn't have so much as a match to give us light. So Cass and I set up in the dark while Jill and Abby back tracked to the nearest gas station to find us some source of light. After a long game of SORRY and some Night at the Museum we fell asleep around 12:30 or 1:00. Do not make fun of us going to sleep early setting up the tent was exhausting. We woke up with the sun...with the blazing heat and I need not tell you but we were sweaty and hot. So we took down camp and we headed home around 8:00. We made a good effort, and we tackle nature aga in this weekend. Bring on the fishing and the hiking and the dirt. We're official campers and its just who we are now. I will be uploaded pictures from this magical experience, for now I simply can not, reasons being I'm too important and too busy to do it today. Work has taken my full attention due to our new systems that I have familiarize myself with. Just call me Dr. Communications.

Boardin with my Homies

My name may be Jenny by day in the office but at night....you can call me Tony, Tony Hawk II. After a nice relaxing night of So You Think You Can Dance, Jill and I decided to take out her newly purchased, barely used LONG-BOARD to the streets! Streets meaning Jill's circle. Long boarding at 9:30 at night is a good idea, no matter what anybody tells you. You can't go wrong....you can't go wrong when its been pouring all day and the pavement is niiice and juicy. Now that I've set up the scene for you you can go ahead and take another check of the picture for today's post...that is me, doin what I do best...just bein me, Tony. I can do tricks, I can carve, So I Think I Can Board. My boarding days go clear back to senior year in high school when I was first introduced to the long board by my boyfriend Chase. He was a skater punk at heart and so of course he had a board and ever since he got me on there I've been a fan. It was music to my ears to hear that Jill had purchased one Tuesday night and I could hardly wait to feel the wind in my hair and the feel the earth move under my feet, feel the sky tumblin down, tumblin down. There I was top of the circle scanning the turf and taking off...Jill had the camera out and was snapping away, catching me in motion..its hard to catch me out of action really. I started picking up speed, started feeling confident, so I start "carving". I felt like Michelangelo, the rode was my David. As I was carving still gaining speed I hit what can only be described as Satan's dip-in-the-road. Before I knew what was happening I was sailing through mid-air...only without the long board underneath me now. You know that baby-like flexibility...babies can pull their legs over their head and around and around meeting no resistance... my body reverted back to baby mode...its the only way I can explain it. I folded in on myself, rolled down the street and when I finally landed upright and conscious I noticed my pants were wet...whether from the rain soaked asphalt or something else...I know not, but I did wash them last night for good measure. So I guess what I'm saying here today is...so we fall down sometimes..does that mean we're still not long board champions or....life champions? NO! We get up! We dust ourselves off! We GET back on that board and we DO IT AGAIN! Amen.

Is Honesty REALLY the Best Policy?

My dad is quite understanding. The one thing that he does not tolerate however is lying. "You will always get in 10 times more trouble if you lie and I find out then if you had told me the truth in the first place, and I always find out because thats my job." How many times have I heard THAT sentence?? If I've heard it once I've heard it a million times I'll tell you. At least I can say I learned quickly just to tell the truth...the man is like Yoda he really would find out EVERYTHING. Anyway I digress... My real query today was as the title so boldly stated...Is honesty really best? I have come to the decision that there is no perfect answer for this question. In some situations honesty is best, in others honesty is inappropriate and unwanted. Lets go over some of these examples together.
Lets be Honest:
*This situation could have been handled much better with a dose of honesty:
"Jenny, do you have something to tell us?"-Dad
"Noooo, not that I know of...."-Jenny
"I'm going to give you one more chance to change that answer"-Dad (said with a penetrating stare.)
"OK!!! Becky Klundt (yeah thats my neighbor's real last name) wasn't high I did steal the car..."-Jenny after cracking under the pressure, tears...lots of tears.
"Ok. First, you're grounded, and for lots longer then you would have been had you told me the truth in the first place and, hand over your phone."-Dad
*When someone asks you to marry them and you are not in love, ready to take the plunge, or of marrying age. This is where honesty comes in....you decide what the best response to that question is, honestly.
*When filling out a job application section on "have you ever been convicted of a felony" don't lie.
*When your Bishop, Rabi, Priest, or other religiously affiliated leader asks you ANY question. Lie...and you know the consequence.
*When you have a "crush", "major Jones", "can't stop thinking about" "feelings" for somebody, if you suspect they return your sentiments, you're digging your own grave if you don't say anything right? Now don't misunderstand me, this could go 1 of 2 ways...1 of those ways is not exactly smile spreading...but how will you LIVE with yourself if you know you never put an offer on the table? What might have happened is a question you will never be able to answer unless you act my friends.
*"Does this dress make me look fat?"-friend 1
"I've seen you in better."-friend 2 (there is a tactful way to be honest.)
*You're pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" ALWAYS SAY NO. (thats still kind of honest, you don't know it could be 1 of many things.) "Have you been drinking tonight?" now would be the time to answer HONESTLY. (no I don't have experience in this area but I suuure know people who do...they'll get ya with those breathalizers!)
you get the drift of honesty...now lets go over the cons.
White Lies Never Hurt:
*"Does this dress make me look fat?"-girlfriend
"No way, you're glorious in the dress."-boyfriend
*Drivers license...prime example of when lying is absolutely acceptable. This doesn't just go for women, men I know you lie on these little cards too...If I'm looking you in the eye, you're not 6' 2 I don't care what your drivers license says. Ladies...lie all you want about your weight, whose really going to call you out on it?
*When your date, mother in-law, newly married wife, grandma cooks you a meal that you have to plug your nose to swallow, and they ask you "How is it?" even if you can't answer because if you open your mouth it'll all come back out go ahead and give a GENEROUS head nod with a pleasing sound.
*First date circumstance. "Do you like bowling??"-energetic boy while holding his own name branded ball and bowling shoes....."LOVE bowling...I've thought about joining a league."-girl. So folks...when in doubt feel free to throw your query my way...I'll give you an honest answer :)

Dating 101 "In's & Out's"

I love coming to work with a new fresh idea to blog about. Yesterday I was fortunate enough to have an idea thrown at me! My un-named friend told me I should put up a post on Dating, what is acceptable and what is abominable. I have had a good amount of experience I did after all live in Provo and have accumulated some experience since moving back home. Let me go ahead and give my course.
Dating 101
Please Don't do This:
*Do not order more than you are going to eat. I have found that nothing is more offensive to a poor or otherwise college student then this conversation..."We're going to need a box for her meal"..." No, thats ok I don't need one, left-overs make me gag"..."Oh cool, I just thought you'd want to box up the other 3/4 of your meal you didn't eat." ..."Thats so sweet of you but thanks I'm good without it!"
*Ex's of any type? Not ok to talk about you never know who knows who and whose cousins with who. If your date says a name that you can associate with a date, let it slide, put it aside and forget about it, after all you didn't get asked out so you could talk about your dating history, nobody cares especially the person buying your meal or otherwise activities
*Bodily Functions? Never ok fellas. I know its a never ending "interesting" point of discussion but its not acceptable. Please save those stories for family parties.
*Have a missionary? Wonderful...leave him out in the field ladies.
*Do not talk about the weather recently...If all you can think of to discuss is the weather finish your burger and end the date its going no where.
*Diarreah is included as a body function and belongs nowhere but in the toilet where you can flush it and forget it. Bring it up at dinner and its the one and only thing your date will ever associate you with.
*A ladies face is nowhere below her neck, if you're having a hard time locating it you asked this girl out for entirely wrong reasons and she wants to go home, its never comfortable talking to someone that has no idea its you thats talking because he's too busy looking for your eyes on your breasts. Unacceptable.
*If you have to ask yourself....I wonder if this is ok to talk about on a date...its not.

*Gentlemen depending on your audience a girl may not have a whole lot to talk about when discussing "series" of any kind. Some light conversation on sports is delightful but blow by blows, save it.
*Do not ask your date to MEET you somewhere when its your first date...thats a quick way to end up alone for the night.
Please Do this:
*Hoist yourself out of your car and get your date from INSIDE their house.
*Open her door, I don't care if "I can do it by myself its ok!" Her parents are watching and they'll think you're a shmuck. Parents approval is a biggy.
*Find something to compliment her on, if you asked her out willingly it shouldn't be hard. Blind date? Find something, there is a silver lining to every cloud.
*Feel free to discuss school, their work, what they find joy in, something funny that happened to you last week (excluding previously said topics), anything to make her laugh is good to go. *Even though you already got the car door opened safely, feel free to continue opening doors throughout the night.
*If you're with other people, or run into people you know, introduce your date so as to make them not feel invisible, or unimportant.
*If there is manual labor to be done on the date (picking up items such as a long board or a sled or something you get the idea) grab it for your lady, it'll make her feel like you're concerned about her well being even if all you're concerned about is getting loving at some point from this girl.
*Gents its ok to text a girl after a date and thank her for the evening you won't appear desperate. Promise.
*Finally, walk her to the door, she is not a package to be dropped off.
Further questions please see your parents, nothing else will be covered in this crash course. I will update these lists if I see fit to do it.

The Curse of Broken Sabbath

Last night after a nice dinner of French Dips and family connectedness, I decided to head out on a little Sunday drive with my friends. Abby picked us up in the Subaru and we headed out. Abs needed a little stank in her tank so we headed to Farmington Chevron so she could fill the canteen, and amidst laughter and talk as she pumped we got lost in our careless Sunday. She finished filling and we rolled out to the Kaysville Chevron so she could wash her car. Mid way to the K.C. Abby got a phone call from Q, (or Brad as the rest of the world knows him and, Dad as Abby knows him.) The end of conversation we could hear went something like this..."What? No wait what? Oooooh my Gosh!!! No, oh my gosh! Are you serious? What do I do! Oh my Gosh oh my Gosh. Ok I'm on my way!" So there Jill and Cassidy and I were, passengers in suspense waiting for the conversation to end so we could hear who died or what Abby had broken or something. So we waited hung in mid air until she hung up. The end of the conversation we couldn't hear went something like this: "Abby, the police are here...evidentially you've stolen $55 in gas from Chevron." OOOOPS! We should have known not to distract Abby when she was FILLING HER TANK! Multi tasking was never her thang, and as we headed back to the gas station to pay her dues with the police waiting there for her, we went over the past week of Abby's life in which she had recalled that this was not the first car mistake she'd had...previously in the week she had hopped in her date's car only to head back to her own car to find that she had left it running and unlocked. She had a rough week sue her...well you may have to get in line behind Chevron. Perhaps this is what she gets for breaking the Sabbath? Thanks for the laughs Abs.

Mo' Money Mo' Problems? part 2

I have just returned from Nordstroms....I wanted to buy a pair of shoes I didn't need...they didn't have them. You would think I would have just taken one for the team and headed back to work $80 richer. Nope...I found something else pointless to spend my money on. MAC make-up thanks for being there to aide me in my frivolous spending disease. I've come to the conclusion that money is the curse and NOT the cure.

A Look Back...and a Big Harumph for my Success!

A year ago this very day I was done with high school. More importantly...a year ago TOMORROW I was graduating from high school. Let me go ahead and relive some of the finer aspects of these moments. Firstly and MOST important Jill was the highlight of our graduation and why is that?? Because Dr. Homer (Principal for those who don't know and appreciate him) featured her in his farewell speech...he made an impressive comment about Davis High's incredibly high graduation rate and this comment lead him to this story: "a young lady who I will not name approached me the other day in the hall nearly in tears stating that she wasn't graduating with 4 days of school left to go! She had so much make up she said she didn't think she would be able to do it, I hope she is here today!" I looked around and thought....good night that story sounds familiar...only moments later to see my best friend's hand shoot into the air to acknowledge that INDEED she had succeeded in making up for her delinquency and was gradating with the rest of the James Bond 007 class! Yeah thats my girl. Now onto memory number two. The All - Night - Party....sucked. It sucks every year, and the super seniors before you warn you that its stupid and not to waste your time but does the current graduating class ever listen? No. We have to experience the wasted 5 hours for ourselves. I told my sister and her friends not to bother going, that the dance room is small smelly and cramped, the kareokee sucks and its mostly just the morons from high school that are looking for a self esteem booster from their lame friends, the bowling ...don't get me started on the 3 hour wait to bowl 5 frames, the hypnotist....fat smelly sweaty and not convincing in the slightest. I warned...will they listen? No. Do I blame them? No. I can't wait however to hear her come home at 5 the next morning and tell me what a waste of time it was. Aaaah High School. Such a good time...a good time to bum off your parents, not have a job, drive a car that you don't pay for, eat food you didn't make OR pay for...enjoy it now kids for in no time you'll be MISSING IT! Thanks Davis High for turning out a solid class to the world. Carry on.

Got a Case of the Stares??

I love my job. I love coming to work and throwin on a pot of coffee for everybody in the office except me and gathering the news paper and laying it out in a visually pleasing manner. I love to greet people as I wander through the office making sure everyone is present and accounted for and at least mostly sober. Nothing about my job really sucks except for one thing...
When somebody comes into the office with an appointment and they come to me and ask for the person they are meeting with we go through the ritual of me calling said person, informing them that their appointment has arrived....I then ask the person standing at my desk staring at me if they would like a beverage of some kind...water, juice, soda, coffee perhaps?? "No I'm great thank you" they generally reply... so this is when I think to myself...ok great then why are you still standing at my desk staring at me? We have chairs in our lobby for a reason please feel free to take a load off and use one..and get out of my grill! Its not like the awkward moments are brief either. The weirdys that usually continue to stand there after we've gone through the obligatory process are always the people whose appointment takes 10 minutes to get up to my area to retrieve them! The best is when after five minutes of silence we start talking about the weather or my lovely rings, or the traffic or "so do you enjoy working here this is sure a nice office" I always say in my head "I enjoyed it before you came in here and wanted to shoot the breeze with me for 15 minutes while I was trying to type this proposal...have a seat friend!". So I guess what I'm trying to say is if you find yourself in an office with a receptionist be kind please state your business and let them get on with their tasks! Chairs in lobbies aren't just for looks folks!

Mo' Money Mo' Problems?

Money as of late has born a strong resemblance to my will to wake up in the morning....its no where to be found. You would think that as money is as hard to come by as gas under $3.00 (interesting that the one is not found because of the existence of the other....) anyway you would suppose that my frivolous spending had come to an end as I have nothing to spend with....well you would be wrong. I find myself spending my paycheck before its even arrived...note to self: stop balancing your check book with purchases you want to make and have not yet made, it screws up your balance not only numerically but also psychologically! The problem that has been created is I get my paycheck and get overly excited with the numbers when I forget I've already planned out my purchases on the necessities! Stupid responsibility ruining my life! I sense that this burden of financial awareness will maybe get better in about 3 months as all major payments I foresee in my life will have come and gone by then and I will be once again blissfully thinking I'm a sugar momma...but for how long? This is where my query comes in of Mo' Money Mo' Problems? Is it better to stay in a state of financial awareness ie: should I continue to save meticulously for a future that I am unaware of....or should I only save minimally and live on the edge...sew some oats....flirt with frivolity??? By this I do mean...should I drop a few benji's...throw out some green...on a plane ticket to New York with my gal's and fly away in the steel bird in December for a belated birthday and early Christmas celebration??? This action of going to New York directly disagrees with my "new" habits of financial responsibility...and it swings me back into my previous state of blissful unawareness. What if I slip back in and drown?? What if I lose sight of my senses??? See what I mean? Mo' Money Mo' Problems...its real its not something uneducated poor people say. I fear the unexpected consequences of what either decision will mean! I go to New York and I want to keep doing more things like that I want to lose my mind again in sweet spending splendor...I don't go to New York and I put more weight into my savings account that will in the end dissipate within the next year ANYWAY! (yes I have already pre-spent my savings account...) Is money the curse...or the cure? Ask yourself that question and report back to me!

Memory Lane

Today Abby and I were jawin about the American Idol results (I won't talk about it its too emotional for me) and we got on the subject of how A.I. producer has said he'll be bringing the show to SALT LAKE CITY for auditions for season 8...(you'll find me in line rain or shine.) Any way...we were discussing all the different locations where they could host said auditions : Salt Palace, Energy Solutions Arena, Gateway Union Station, Pioneer Theater...and our final conclusion of location Capitol Theater in downtown Salt Lake. As we brainstormed about Capitol Theater we got reflecting on the wonderful plays we have seen go down in this theater. Beauty and the Best was a magical night, I felt like I was part of the magic! It was when we started talking about the ballet of Sleeping Beauty that another memory hit me, a BIG memory. I was young say...10 to 12, I was wearing a white turtle neck knit top (tight to the frame) and a nice black skirt. I had to dress up for the event it was the ballet! Anyway there I was with my hair curled in my white turtle neck when my mother made this life-stepping-stone comment to my Aunt Kathy with a big old grin on her face...."I think we need to get Jenny her first...bra!" Whats a Bra Mom??? I asked ...hoping it was some kind of candy treat that you only got at the theater. My answer came the next day as Mom, Aunt Kathy, and cousin Beau (one of my favorite cousins who happened to be around the age of 16 or 17 at the time) and myself headed into Mervyns to purchase my first brazier, trainer, over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, whatever you may call it. I had arrived. I'd reached the point in my life when you separate the girls from the women. From that time forward I've never gone without a bra...except for those awkward days in Jr. High and High School when I simply forgot to put one on and didn't realize my mistake until I went to change into my gym gear for PE. (those moments were always met with awkward silence and followed by a good laugh.) So thanks Mom, for steering me in the direction of womanhood. Amen.

Is This What Pregnancy Is Like?

I think I may be pregnant against my knowledge...its happened once before where I thought I had a miscarriage in a TexaCo Gas Station bathroom...Its a really long and upsetting story and I won't share it with the blogging network...I will however share it with my family who has not heard the story because as they are reading this blog right now they are concerned that I have been sexually active which I have not so rest assured and there is a perfectly logical explanation for why I was supposedly pregnant. (maybe I reproduce A-sexually like the dinosaurs?) Anyway back to the task at hand. I have been craving a wide variety of foods and they only explanation is that I'm pregnant. (that or I've been on weight watchers for so long that I have forgotten what these foods taste like.) I decided to ease my salivating I would make a list! This I know will help me get it out of my system without cracking and eating every single item I'm about to name.... In no particular order: 1. 2 or 3 large slices of pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut. 2. Sponge Bob Square Pants Maccoroni and Cheese Kraft style. 3. Orange/Raspberry/Lime Sherbet (this is at home in my freezer and I secretly have been eating it. Sue me its better than ice cream) 4. Hot dogs smothered in Mustard but NEVER ketchup thats sick. 5. McDonald's Fries (they really are the best in America) 6. Any cookie from Paradise Bakery (this I have not gone without if we're being honest I crave them anyway.) 7. Chips that aren't fat free pringles. 8. Any candy bar that isn't a Fiber 1 Bar. Preferably... Butterfinger. 9. A scone that my mother makes from Dicks Bakery smothered in homemade Jam. 10. A Cheese Burger..NOT Hamburger...just Cheese Burger. 11. A Corn dog smothered in ..you guessed it...mustard. 12. A pepper-jack cheese sandwich. 13. A sausage egg McMuffin. 14. A Strawberry Cheese cake Sucker from Pizza Factory. 15. Bread twists from Pizza Factory. 16. Chex Mix (not the dry salty kind the sticky sugary kind) 17. Peanut M&M's or Peanut butter mmmm. 18. Edomame (finally a healthy item). 19. Banana Creamy!!!! I close my list with this...... last and most certainly not least 20. Mashed Potato's and Gravy from KFC. I can't wait to go home and eat my fruit bowl, White chicken sandwich on zesty fiber bread and water. (and since I'm feeling like a rascal some sherbet.) Heaven love you weight watchers...Cause the American Foods Association sure doesn't.